Check out these 8 Government Loan Schemes That You Can Benefit From As A Woman In Business.
My University degree will help me attain my dreams, not learning kitchen skills to perfection, though I can certainly cook for myself.
Recently, I stumbled upon a video clip of the Kapil Sharma Show, where a husband shamelessly appeared in front of the world to complain that he has issues with his wife because she doesn’t know how to make round shaped rotis, and he feels embarrassed every time someone visits their home and his wife has made rotis that look like India’s map. He also took immense pride in the fact that he knows how to make perfectly round rotis. But why would he make them for his wife, even if he feels they must have them for guests? It is her duty, after all!
And then I saw an infamous clip of a crime show, where a husband measures the diameters of roti and slaps his newlywed wife because it was less than 12 and 1/2 centimetres! Her mother-in-law comforted her saying, that she will ‘teach her’ how to make the perfect rotis as per the standards set by her husband!
Honestly, nothing changed much since the day I learnt how to make perfectly round rotis!
Since my childhood, my mother never taught me to make perfectly round rotis. She barely let us enter the kitchen, even though sometimes we wanted to help her willingly.
Every time her opinion was crisp and clear, “You will get to spend a lot of time in the kitchen, and it doesn’t require any additional skills or talent to get in here! Once you start doing it, you will pick it up naturally! Right now, you focus on your main job-studies, and let me do my job of taking care of you! Don’t get distracted from your goals wasting your time on all these.”
When I moved to a different city, I eventually learned how to make round rotis, but did it change my life significantly in any way? Certainly not; but, my University degree did! It played a vital role in building up my confidence, shaping up my character, and creating my life the way I wanted. And I realised what my mother meant, years ago!
Thank God my mother never apologised to me like Simran’s mother! She never agreed to give up on her dream of raising her daughters her way because of the patriarchal society! She decided to play stronger roles to raise her daughters. She decided to set new rules and raise a voice about them proudly to relatives and neighbours.
As they say, charity begins at home; I learned the basics of feminism from my mother, even though she learned the term years later from her daughter! She just knew she wanted a different life for her daughters, and she made it happen in reality. And I couldn’t be more greatful about the fact that my mother is way different from Simran’s mother, and I am optimistic that my future husband or in-laws will definitely not choose me for my roti making skills!
Unfortunately, many Indian women are not so lucky as me. They are literally forced into focusing on these life skills as they grow up, even more than their professional skills!
In my case, this additional skill didn’t seem to be any useful in my personal life. My loved ones never bothered much whether my rotis were round or square, thick or thin! They gladly ate them as long as they were edible or ordered online! For me, it did add a sense of pride and happiness, as if I have learned a new art. But, it is nothing more than aesthetic satisfaction.
Perhaps, the new age Simran too needs to hear this out ‘Jaa Simran Jaa, poori karle apni padhayee aur bana le apni zindagi’ (Go Simran go; fulfil your education dreams and build an independent life) from their mothers!
First published here.
Image source: a still from the film DDLJ
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Mostly Normal is a book of innocence, longing, filial love, angst and acceptance, encapsulating a gamut of human emotions within its lightweight edifice. The book touches the human heart and will stay with you.
Some books enthral you till the last page, and then there are those that you stop reading after turning a few pages. Some books are a one-time read, while you carry some books with you long after you have read them. Then, once in a while, a book hits you so close to home that you find it difficult to slot into any category.
I will put Priyadeep Kaur’s Mostly Normal (BookSoul Reads, 2022) in this last bracket.
At a little less than hundred pages, Mostly Normal is a testimony of the power of words to inspire, irrespective of their length.
Most women do not get to live their lives the way they want, on their own terms. So why should they be tied down in their old age?
Every morning, while dropping the kids at the bus stop, I find a grandfather waiting with his granddaughter. I see him again when I fetch the kids. This has been the pattern for the last few years.
He is seen actively participating in his granddaughter’s activities, from morning and evening walks to attending her parent-teachers meeting, sending her for extracurricular activities to even planning her birthday party. He is admired by all. He is appreciated for making himself useful in his old age. People rave that the doting grandfather is doing his duty towards his children and grandchildren. The much-admired grandfather is also a widower, having lost his wife years ago to chronic disease. It’s also to be noted that both his son and daughter-in-law are working parents.
Every day, the onlookers appreciate his sense of duty and dedication. They say that this is how the elderly should keep themselves occupied. They should bring up their grandchildren while their children go off to work.
Please enter your email address