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Enough of taking women for granted especially in a marriage where men feel they can get away with any kind of behaviour. Time for this to change.
Thappad.. bass itni se baat
‘Thappad’, as it has been described on the TOI website, is a silent slap on our society’s age-old belief that — ‘shaadi mein sab kuch chalta hain’ (anything is ok in a marriage). But honestly, should it be that way?
The movie portrays well the different roles that are in real life being played by every one of us, more or less a similar way.
Be it a housewife or a working woman, it reminds us that a husband cannot let out his anger or frustration or any sort of stress on to them.
It shows how a father who understands the indignity of his daughter ignores the sacrifices made by his own wife, even though it could be unintentional and inadvertent.
It shows how, often mothers of a son, despite themselves having a daughter too, feel no empathy and ignore the wrongful things or issues that happen with their bahus because of their son; and how mothers of a daughter often try to go with the patriarchy and tell their daughters to be tolerant and ignore trivial things that may happen in marriage and move on.
As rightly said by Taapsee’s brother’s fiancee in the movie, in our society, it is the woman who suffers the most when a divorcee tag is attached to her after a separation from her husband, no matter whatever be the reason, and regardless of the truth that she may be on the right side. And this is why woman are often told to be tolerant and adjust with whatever happens to avoid the post separation consequences.
As Taapsee’s father in Thappad says, every right decision may not have a happy ending.
It’s time we must teach our sons to respect a woman, and also not to hurt her in a way that effects her self respect and dignity as a woman in any relationship. It’s time that we teach our children to acknowledge and accept it when they commit a mistake.
In a marital relationship, women are often portrayed as being on the wrong side. People often defend themselves by pointing out how a woman is ignoring all other happy incidents and just holding on to one or a few particular negative incidents that happened (like a black dot on a white paper). But sometimes even one such incident could affect her self respect and dignity. Yes, seeing that particular incident could be like seeing a black dot on white paper, taking more significance over everything.
Men might feel “it just happened” or that they “might have uttered some words out of anger”, but it effects a person much more than one can imagine as they are not the ones who experienced the unfairness.
It’s time for a change!
Image source: a still from the film Thappad
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Instead of seeking vengeance after horrific crimes, the public should push for faster and better judicial resolutions. That is the best tribute we can pay to the victims.
Trigger Warning: This deals with rape, violence against women and police brutality, and may be triggering for survivors.
On the news yesterday we came to know that 10 police officers who had killed 4 young men arrested for the rape and murder of Hyderabad doctor in an “encounter” have been found “guilty of concocting their story, and were to be charged with murder.” The report of the commission doing this enquiry also says “The panel also found that police have deliberately attempted to suppress the fact that at least three of the deceased were minors – two of them 15 years old.”
December 29, 2019 was a Friday no different from any other. I was running late so had no time to read the newspaper. On the way to work, I logged onto to Twitter to catch up with the news. The first thing I saw was the breaking story on the horrific gang rape and murder of the 26 year old doctor on the outskirts of Hyderabad.
To think that money can buy you anything is as wrong as singling a woman out after her divorce because the world feels she got overcompensated.
A lot of people are attracted to money and that’s not a bad thing. Which is also why everyone talks about money and the rich. The rich always make the headlines.
The rich, also, get upset when their personal lives are talked about, and rightly so. They have all the right to privacy.
Time moves on. However, people do not.