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Patriarchal norms are so steadfast in a society that a woman absolutely has no wriggle space.
It is a such sad situation when you realise that a society is so rotten when they criticise a woman’s parents for supporting her.
What kind of a society do we live in if a woman’s own parents support is looked down by the society?
Should she continue to take the mental abuse day in day out at her marital home instead of taking help from her parents? Does she not have the right to walk out of an abusive situation? Does she not have the right to reach out to people who will help her get her confidence back? Why is she expected to face the same demons time and again when clearly they are not ready to change.
Patriarchal norms are so steadfast in a society that a woman absolutely has no wriggle space. Reviled for reaching out for help, reviled for going back to her parents place and basically just reviled for staying alive.
When will society wake up and realise that a woman’s abode is her choice of making. She cannot make a house her home where she is abused everyday. Where in the morning you invoke the goddess by prayers but abuse the goddess’s member by afternoon.
Image via Pixabay
Born and brought up in Mumbai.
A feminist and a voracious reader. read more...
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Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).
Gender stereotypes, though a by-product of the patriarchal society that we have always lived in, are now so intricately woven into our conditioning that despite our progressive thinking, we are unable to break free from them.
Repeatedly crossing, while on my morning walk ̶ a sticky, vine-coloured patch on the walkway, painted by jamuns that have fallen from the jamun tree, crushed by the impact of their fall, and perhaps, inadvertently trampled upon by walkers, awakens memories of the mulberry tree that stood in my parents’ house when I was growing up. Right at the entrance of the house, the tree caused a similar red and violet chaos on the floor, which greeted us each time we entered the gate.
Today, as I walked by this red-violet patch, I was reminded of an incident that my mother had narrated to me several times. It had taken place shortly after her marriage and her arrival in this house from her hometown.