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We only seek to further divide ourselves when we begin to put labels on each other and normalise sterotypical and sexist social behaviour.
Why do men always run away when women ask them for their time? Why do men always stereotype women as cranky or aggressive or pyschotic? Can’t a woman just be mad and angry without being labelled?
Men expect respect from women but in turn give nothing. I know so many men who are so passive aggressive in their relationship that it takes years for women to understand that they are being manipulated. By the time women understand what has happened, it gets too late to walk out. Either there are kids or they are financially dependent, or they can’t go back to their parents place. Sometimes, it is all of the above.
For example, there is this one couple where the man has a rather long name (something like Rituparno) and he used to get teased for this. His colleagues used to call him Rita and ritu and what not. He used to hate that his name was being twisted and turned around.
At that time , his girlfriend (and now wife) was the only one who would respect his wishes and call him by the name he preferred. She respected his name and his wish.
Whereas, this said husband when he fought with his wife, would call her pyschotic, crazy, aggressive and cranky. Sometimes he would go to the extent of calling her a witch and demon.
My point here being what was the need to verbally abuse someone especially when she stood by his lame ass when he was being heckled for his name. Was there no sense of gratitude and respect? She was emotionally sensitive and tear up if there was a fight. That does not mean she is a drama queen or a crazy ranting witch.
Many times she would not understand why she felt so dirty and angry after a fight. Slowly she realised that all this name calling the husband was doing was taking a toll on her. The only way she thought she could get back was to abuse him the way he did. But whenever she did this she felt disgusted by herself.
She realised that most of the rules the husband had said was only for her since he didn’t follow a hoot. Just because he was earning and she was financially dependent on him with two small kids (one a baby) , he thought he could make any rules.
Is this how it’s supposed to be? Do you get your way only when you are financially independent?
You may be a shitty partner but as long as you are raking in the moolah people respect you. The wife thought with absolute bitterness that this is not what she had settled for. She too was paying the bills and cutting expenses wherever possible. She was trying to be a good wife.
Agreed that everyone has faults in them, but no one has the right to belittle anyone or partake in name calling. It was never right and never will be. She had tried walking out once but due to societal pressure, had to return.
Why are men not taught that it’s not okay to namecall. Words like cranky witch or pyschotic woman create a dent in a woman’s heart. No one becomes shrill or loud just like that. Somewhere down the society has done that. One needs to understand that. Women are humans first and must be treated just like that : with humanity.
It’s not okay to name call or stereotype a woman. Either she is an angel or a witch. Either she is rigid of pyschotic witch. Either she is heartless or cranky drama queen. No men. She is just a woman scorned who never got the respect and love she deserved. And if these men are any smart like they make themselves out to be, then they will pull up their socks before it’s too late.
A woman is a human first. When a man gets aggressive he is not called witch or so. When a man gets angry he is not called anything. Then why are these labels stuck on a woman. She is human and she has the right to raise her voice, get angry, get upset, freak out , be happy and be just who she is. Don’t clip the wings.
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Born and brought up in Mumbai. A feminist and a voracious reader. read more...
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