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I realise that resolutions aren’t as overrated as they appear. May be I looked at it all wrong. What if the resolutions are a way of self love and care?
Another year, another decade started just a few days back. And that threw up the usual discussions on new-year resolutions once again.
‘My new year resolution is not to make any.’
‘Resolutions are just wishes we make on a particular day.’
Or more recently, ‘resolutions are like whatsapp forwards, recycled without even reading properly.’
These are some of the things we say to each other when we speak of New Year resolutions.
End of the year also sees updates and compilations of the events of gone by. I remember, watching chitrahaar round ups as a child at midnight on Doordarshan. (I hope there are at least a few among us who have walked the earth long enough to understand this part!) It always made me wonder why people took the efforts to compile all the stuff. After all, how did it matter?
‘It’s just a date, not like anything changes the next morning,’ is something many of us would have felt at some point in time.
Well, this year I definitely didn’t make any resolutions, mainly because I was simply too cold with the almost freezing temperatures. Not even to try and run fewer electrical appliances to conserve the electricity bill such was the desperation to be warm. And the year end lists were obscured by the temperature recordings and predictions (I did save some relating to books though)
Slowly, the chill begins to abate and I get used to writing a changed date. It is only now, that I, like many of us, reflect on how time has flown by. I wonder if I should set any goals for myself and I begin to put my thoughts into words.
As I start writing, I find my thoughts going back to the year and I am doing my own chronicling of the good, the bad, the happy and the sad of the year. I also find myself thinking of the hopes and disappointments that the last year brought. It is then that I realise that this practice isn’t as over rated as it appears. And I begin to wonder if the year-end updates and resolutions are any different from the self care and self love that all of us need but sometimes forget about.
Our New Year resolutions are not just wishes. When we make a New Year resolution, we need to be in touch with ourselves. At the same time, we are aware of something in our lives that we need to change, however small it may be. We are also committed to working towards these, and have faith in ourselves to make a change.
They allow us to fail when we don’t keep them and show us the strength in trying again and again. By making a resolution we weren’t able to follow through on last year, we are forgiving ourselves for not doing so. We are not punishing ourselves for our mistakes, we are simply giving ourselves the space to try again without grudging ourselves for our failures.
The year round ups bring us closer to ourselves and are symbolic of life. But only if we remember what happened and try to organise our thoughts, will we able to move forwards. They remind us that life is a mixed bag, with various emotions jostling for space, and that we have the power to choose which ones to feed.
Gratitude for the good and learning from the negatives allows us to renew ourselves. It gives us the gift of moving on and finding the energy to renew ourselves.
If not on the first of the year, on any day you choose to, give yourself that gift. Here is to the New Year, new decade and new beginnings, whenever you are ready for them!
Picture credits: Pixabay
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Shalini is the author of "Stars from the Borderless Sea", a collection of three novella length stories that explore different nuances of love.
She is a practicing doctor with more than 20 years of experience read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
You do not have to be perfect. There’s no perfect daughter, perfect employee, perfect wife, or perfect mother. These are just labels created by society, for their convenience.
So here you are, just out of engineering college, having no clue why you pursued Electronics Engineering. Yes, I know, like many others your age, you too were persuaded by your parents to opt for engineering because it supposedly gets you a lucrative job.
Believe me, however strange this might sound, you’ll soon come to realize that a high paying job need not always make you happy. And there are a myriad courses and career options out there, you should definitely consider something that’ll make you look forward to go to work every day.