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Why is a woman always shamed for having her parents' support post marriage? She will always remain their daughter, whom they have brought up with care.
Why is a woman always shamed for having her parents’ support post marriage? She will always remain their daughter, whom they have brought up with care.
So many women go through suicidal tendencies because they are left alone to fend for themselves and their dignity at the marital home. By chance if a woman gets her parents’ support to walk out of the abuse, she is castigated for “running to her parents time and again”.
I know of a woman who was always mentally abused by her mother in law. When she could not take it anymore, she used to just walk out and stay at her parents’ place.
Her parents did not say much, but definitely allowed her to come back and stay. They supported her quietly whether they agreed or not with the situation.
While many found this progressive, her in laws and other relatives at her marital home found it most inconvenient that the girl’s parents were giving her a place to stay.
They blamed the parents for “spoiling the daughter”, for giving her space and for taking her back every time things got ugly at the in laws’ place.
What the mother in law didn’t see was that after a point, the daughter in law could not take the abuse. After a point, she started cutting her wrists, feeling unworthy every time she was told “you don’t know anything”. She started cutting her skin every time she was abused, and hurting herself inspite of having a small child who was dependent on her.
What the in laws didn’t see was that her parents stopped her from taking her own life by giving her the space to say what she felt, and thereby allowing a mother to stay in a child’s life and a wife to stay in the husband’s life. Most importantly by allowing their daughter to stay at her maternal home they made sure their daughter remained alive.
Why is a woman castigated for going to her parents’ house? How many dowry deaths and harassment deaths must women go through for the society to wake up? When will this apathetic society wake up and say that a woman has as much right to stay with her parents post marriage, just like a man.
It is time for the winds of change to blow stronger.
Image source: shutterstock
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Born and brought up in Mumbai.
A feminist and a voracious reader. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
As long as teachers are competent in their job, and adhere to the workplace code of conduct, how does it matter what they do in their personal lives?
A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
When the father of an 18 year old finds his son looking at photographs of a lady in a swimsuit, he can do many things. What this parent allegedly did was to dash off a letter to the University which states: