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We, the parents, should teach our boys to be in touch with their softer emotions, and to manage their anger, so that we do not bring up another Kabir Singh.
The social media is impregnated with a lot of uproar around Kabir Singh. Although the movie has hit a hard blow to the women, (oops I wouldn’t say all women), the feminists, to be precise, the film has however hit the box office with its full grandeur.
On one hand women and some men are voicing their opinions against the characterization of Kabir Singh and his violent treatment towards his girlfriend,in the name of love, while on the other hand a large number of young girls simply loved the movie. Not to mention the men. How does it matter to them anyway?
And why not?
Are not the girls taught that it’s normal and natural for boys to be angry and throw their temper tantrums? Did we not, just a couple of decades ago, and some even now, drool over the angry young man image?
A girl grows up seeing her father, her brother, her uncles showing their temper, shouting,abusing and sometimes even resorting to physical assaults. They grow up believing that anger is a man’s birth right and women are forever supposed to be composed and calm even in the worst of situation.
In fact let me share a personal anecdote. I was once advised (unsolicited) to keep the ‘Shivling’ immersed in water so that the boys and the men of the house remain cool headed. Although I found this idea quite funny because I have never seen my mother doing all this and my Dad has always been cool headed, I can just imagine the plight of that desperate woman who had invented this technique of tackling men’s anger.
This is just one example of anger management system in Indian households where responsibility of managing the temper tantrums of the men falls on the shoulder of a woman.
Have boys ever been taught how to manage their anger? Hardly ever. Well, sadly many a times even women are heard calling a man a sissy if he is even slightly caring to his wife.
Being macho is somehow synonymous to be dominating, rough and angry. So no wonder, that while Kabir Singh leaves some women air-headed, how in this century, a film like this is even made, and glorified, is the question.
There is this larger group of men and women who loved this movie firstly for their love of an intensely romantic movie, secondly for their love for Shahid Kapoor’s spectacular acting, and thirdly for mere hedonistic delight of watching a movie. The story line and the weird characteristics of the protagonist is nothing less than normal in a patriarchal set up, and hence doesn’t perturb the movie lovers.
Kabir Singhs are no aliens. They are found in abundance in our society.
Therefore, ladies, it’s evident that breaking the shakles of patriarchy is a long and tedious process which needs a rigorous cleansing of the mindset of people.
We, the modern day mothers can at least do this favour to our coming generation. Let’s no more breed Kabir Singhs.
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A teacher by profession Dipanjana enjoys life in its every shade. She lives in Shillong
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