Marriage Or A ‘Shaadi Bazaar’?

Posted: January 10, 2019

The author questions the bride and groom hunt that takes place in India. She feels that marriage should be an emotional affair not a ‘bazaar’ where you make CVs and go bride/groom shopping.

Name, Height (better be tall, even though our daughter or son is a dwarf), Complexion (better be “very fair”, even though our daughter or son is dark- or is wheatish ), Weight ( the girl better be slim and the guy ought to have the perfect muscle body ), Education (A doctor for a doctor, an engineer for an engineer, others- figure it out on your own), Caste/ Sect- (Everything to be mentioned in detail. Caste discrimination is a must).

Qualities required in the ‘male’ partner – Tall, good body, handsome, Phd holder or doctor or engineer( other’s won’t be entertained) and most importantly- A very good pay package. Well settled.

Qualities required in the ‘Female’ partner- VERY VERY FAIR AND BEAUTIFUL. “Good looking and good features” Educated and smart(even though we won’t want her to work , but look after our home. Need her degree to show off to other relatives – not to let her work), should know how to cook, clean, take care of kids, talk, walk-in short everything (Sarv gunn sampann). She should know how to cook good food ( read how to make round chapatis).

This is how marriages are decided and life partners are found. It’s no more an emotional affair about two families and two people tying the knot out of love. But, it is more like a business where CVs are made to select the next bride or groom or be the suitable match for at least one fish in the sea. Is this how it should be? Is this how a single biodata will speak for a person’s character, ethics and how the person really is, inside out.

I understand that it does help in finding a better match for the people who have been searching a life partner since long but honestly, this pattern of matrimony and creating CVs to attract a better life partner is not so cool. How can things just be decided like this ? How can one know about a person through such biodatas?  Are you finding a soulmate or are you in a bazaar to buy something? You want everything to be according to your needs but are you yourself perfect enough? I seriously don’t understand this norm.

Secondly, do we educate our children and send them to top universities, just so they can write that in their matrimonial biodata. Let them utilize their knowledge, the way they want to. Lower your demands and stop finding faults in others. The best biodata and CV doesn’t make you the best person.

And we all know how false information is circulated in such so called “biodatas “. Such people should be called “Thugs of Marriages”.

Marriage is something which is a very big decision and one of the most important one, in a person’s life. The one who is going to get married, should be given the liberty to decide whether how, what, when, where and with whom they want to get married. Every person should peep inside, before putting forward demands on the other person. Let marriage be an emotional affair rather than making it a huge business or a bazaar!

Image Source: Pexels

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