Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
My family is a good example of how empowering women can lead to subsequent generations breaking the glass ceiling - let's see how that works, shall we?
My family is a good example of how empowering women can lead to subsequent generations breaking the glass ceiling – let’s see how that works, shall we?
I come from a family where healthy competition among girl children is encouraged… not competing on how well they cook, but on how well are they educated and how good a career they have! Having lived in such a household, I sometimes find it shocking to interact with people who believe when a woman takes up a job, she does that only to support her husband! People find it alien to use woman, career and passion in the same sentence!
Being the positive person that I am, it is unlike me to start out on such a negative note. This, however, is necessary to set the context before I begin to count my blessings.
Moving on to ‘counting my blessings part’, I want to share some stories that happened in my family in India, in the mid-20th century. And how that has helped to shape me!
My great grandfather was a freedom fighter (fought against colonial rule in India) and hence was considered to be a radical. He did not do things in tune with society’s norms. In fact, in certain aspects, he was a pioneer. He supported his daughter’s dreams. My grand aunt (my mom’s paternal aunt to be precise) was the first female to take up a job in my family. It was early 1950s in India and it was against all social barriers, that she did so. She was a “Hindi Teacher” at a school.
Moving on to the subsequent generation, from great grandparents to grandparents. Both my maternal and paternal families had a mantra “Educating boys and girls equally; encouraging girls to pursue a career”. And most importantly, it was not out of compulsion or economic need that the women folk of my family took up a job.
In 1950s and 60s, in my country, it was a social taboo for a family to spend money on a girl’s education. Women, even if educated were encouraged to take up an arts/home science stream as against science/engineering/medicine. It was often considered customary to get a daughter married off at an age of 18.
My grandparents had a different outlook, for them it was their child, be it male or female! My mom did her post-graduate degree (Science degree); my dad’s elder sister, my aunt, went on to become a doctor; Yet another aunt, a professor at a renowned college.
These women are pioneers too, in their own way, especially when most of their peers were being married off in their late teens.
This education and encouragement enabled the women of my family to reach great heights in their careers ! My mom is now a deputy general manager in a major telecommunications company; my aunt holds a doctorate and another aunt continues to serve as a doctor past her retirement age.
I can’t emphasise enough, how proud I am about them!
These traditions continue in my generation too. Most of the young ladies of my family went on to do/ are doing their masters/PhD. And that includes me.
Not so long ago, one of my female friends opened up to me about her life. She said, “The key difference between us is that I come from a chauvinist family and you don’t.” Her poignant words, still lingering in my mind, seems very true as I look around, even today! I have heard a lot of bragging in some moms-and-aunts circles about how well their college-going daughters can already cook, but with their sons, their bragging ends by citing his accomplishments at university or how good a tennis player he has become.
As I look back at my life, my parents have consciously steered away from grooming-my-daughter-to-be-a-good-home-maker attitude. So was my aunt with my cousins.
They are university rank holders… winning scholarships and presenting papers were their thing!
A lot gets decided about your life, and your future by what you experience as a child. If parents instill feelings of limitations: ceilings to what their daughters can do, that is likely to create a nagging sensation with perpetual self-doubt in their minds. I was immensely fortunate not to have to worry about any of that.
My self-esteem is rock solid, so is my confidence. My family broke the glass ceiling for me, empowered me! An invaluable gift from my family!
A version of this was first published here.
Image source: shutterstock
read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address