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You’re sure you are a woman who doesn’t believe in ‘fake it till you make it’, right? You may still fall in one of these categories of ‘fake’ women!
Have you listened to all the big Ted Talks where they talk about how to be successful in life, sharing tips and tricks about how to get there where they are right now? I bet many of us would love to hear all the inspirational stuff, read about how to get where every other successful person is, and find no harm in following the footsteps at all!
But what I want to talk about is
“What if I don’t want to reach where you all are?”
“What if I don’t want to ‘fake’ it till I make it?”
“What if all I want is a simple peaceful and happy life?”
A ‘funny’ answer to all these questions is – stop watching the Ted Talks if you are so annoyed with it, no one is paying me to watch them.
But what if these Ted Talks are everywhere around me? Whether I want to listen to them or not, they have become a part of my daily life in the form of people who are actually living examples of ‘fake it till you make it’ Women in particularly everywhere around me are trying really hard to fake it; whether or not they are actually making it, is a different question altogether.
Oh! So, you think that you are the genuine one and not believe in faking anything, and you are what you are to the world… Let’s have a closer look in the mirror (Yeah you and me both!).
Do you never fake it, when all you want to do is eat till you’re stuffed, drink till you get a hangover, dress in loose, comfortable clothes, step outside the house without the full layer of make-up, laugh your lungs out or party hard?
But instead all you do is keep discussing about the diet plan to follow, latest fashion trends (however uncomfortable these are), keep staring at the girl next to you who is carrying some extra weight (reasons don’t matter here), and how looking lady-like is so important because that is your identity.
Yeah with all this you make it to be a beautiful woman for the outside world.
Do you never fake it, when after having a bad day all you want to do is yell at someone, maybe cry on a friend’s shoulder, use the kind of language that is ‘not allowed’ for women?
Instead, all you do is bottle up your emotions, go to the bathroom to fix your make up, roll up your sleeves, brush aside your feelings, and put up a smiling face in front of everyone including your family.
Yeah because this way you will make it to be a strong woman as per the society norms.
Do you never fake it, when all you want to do after a tiring day at office is crash on the couch, put your legs up on the table and switch on the T.V., or maybe make a drink for yourself?
But instead you rush to the kitchen to get everything sorted for dinner, get the kids’ homework done, take them to the numerous classes that will assure a great future for them (pun intended), and manage to do all the other tasks in your to-do list for the day.
Yeah because this way you will make it to be the super woman who manages everything.
Do you never fake it when all you want to do is be a mother, a home maker, a person who loves cooking, who wants to decorate her house, who wants to be there when her kids come back from school?
But instead you commute long hours to go to your work, try to prove yourself at work, try to convince yourself that you are happy because you have financial independence.
Yeah because this way you will make it to be a working woman who gets all the respect in the world.
Don’t you fake it when as a newly married girl all you want to do is get a cozy room all for yourself and your husband, and live the dreams and fantasies that you have been thinking about since teenage?
But instead you get up early in the morning before your in-laws wake up, get (over)dressed, put on the biggest fake smile possible in front of the whole family, and behave like a typical sanskaari bahu throughout the day who wins everyone’s hearts in the new family.
Yeah, this way you will be loved and respected in the new family and you will make it to be the ideal bahu in the family.
Do you never fake it, when men/boys make lewd comments at you or touch you in an unacceptable way, and all you want to do is hold them by their neck, thrash them like a punching bag?
But all you do is lower your eyes and pretend you never heard them, or ignore any advances by them – not even raise your voice.
Yeah, this way definitely you will make it to be the good girl who has been brought up perfectly by her family.
Don’t you fake it when all you want to do is end the abusive relationship (mental, emotional or physical) and punish the person who does that to you?
But instead you keep tolerating the torture, without seeking help and trying to build a support system for yourself.
Yeah, this way for sure your will be make it to be the woman who sacrifices all her self-respect just to maintain the honour and dignity of the family.
I am nowhere implying that we run away from our responsibilities as a mother, wife, or daughter, but what I want us to do is let the society also see the real person that you are, not just the person who has to prove something to others. We are ourselves creating boundaries for women around us knowingly or unknowingly, and then throughout life keep struggling to come out of the vicious circle. We are trying to fake it for all the wrong reasons; if we fake it to develop our capabilities and to enhance our talent or skills, then we can proudly vouch for the whole idea of Fake it till you Make it – do it for the right reasons!!
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An HR professional who keeps shifting between being a homemaker and a career woman. Currently
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