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Its natural for women's body to change after pregnancy. Putting on weight after delivering a baby, it was impossible for Revathi to accept her changed body.
It’s natural for women’s bodies to change after pregnancy. Putting on weight after delivering a baby, it was impossible for Revathi to accept her changed body.
Of late I got thinking, is there anything abnormal about a woman who delivered a child few months ago not wanting to have sex? And are we women more critical about our own selves than others? Actually, do others even bother about the self importance that we create about ourselves in our fickle mind?
Revathi was always a very attractive woman. But during her pregnancy she gained a whopping 27 kgs of weight. To the world she looked cute and cuddly, but those weren’t the words she grew up hearing. Cuddly appeared as fat to her ears. Post delivery, the weight didn’t come down to what she had expected it to be. Masked by the fatigue of a new mom, she hid her pain. She became cynical thinking, “This isn’t how it is supposed to be”. She glanced at those magazines which manifested her dreams of looking like those new celebrity moms, but they just didn’t seem attainable. She had lost her spark.
Revathi was just a mom now. Rajbir understood her pain. Or at least he thought he did. After their daughter was a month old, he wanted his wife back. Not the mother of his child. Just his wife.
He wanted her to dress up, to wait for him to get back home, plan outings, be intimate and want him – just like how he wanted her.
But Revathi was in her own misery. Every time Rajbir came close, slipping his hands under her clothes, she would say, ‘not today, please!’ She convinced herself that this touch and want is out of pity. Just because she was not content with her physical appearance, she thought no one else should be either.
She was punishing herself, Rajbir and her child who deserved to be raised by the woman that she was before delivering the baby. Weeks turned into months and months into years. Rajbir stopped trying. As there was no end to her ’not today, please!’
Not that she never craved for being with Rajbir, but now she positive and strongly believed that nobody would want her. She even re-ran an episode of Rajbir with some other woman in her head, asking him how could he do it. With him replying that he too had needs. All of these were fragments of her thoughts. Bitter. Yet she sighed after the thoughts ended.
She felt guilty, yet all she had to say was, ‘not today, please!’
Image Source – Pixabay
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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