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Your toddler's separation anxiety can prevent him from enjoying time away from you, and also stress you out as a parent. Here is what you can do.
Your preschooler’s separation anxiety can prevent him from enjoying time away from you, and also stress you out as a parent. Here is what you can do.
When my 1 year 10 month old baby began with his playway school, little did I know that my worst nightmare will take shape then and there. My all so gullible, socially extrovert son soon turned into a mumma’s boy. He refused to let me drop him off without the clinging and crying. And this all just didn’t end here, he also stopped letting me leave him to use natures call or even go to the kitchen alone.
I ended up feeling like a monster for sending him off to school. But after thinking about it a bit, I realised that it wasn’t as if he’d be OK if I sent him again a few months later. Hence I tried and tested the waters and eventually after a month he finally ran into his school all smiling (I day I actually thought I won’t live to see). Mums do exaggerate, don’t they (wink wink)?
So I learnt a few things from this, which I would like to share with other moms. Maybe someone can benefit from this.
Moms, this is the worst time to go weak in your knees. But remember, you are setting a really important lesson for your child, i.e., to deal with the world and the new situations they encounter, and not be a quitter. Kids are more intelligent and sensitive to our decision than we realise, so if you have decided to make your child do something and have gone ahead with it, don’t step back.
Not just a brave face ladies, but a brave heart as well. Remember there are scientific researches to back up the fact that kids are directly affected by their mothers emotions. If you are anxious, nervous and don’t trust the school and teachers to take care of your little one, they won’t trust their teachers, too.
No matter how trivial it sounds right now your children do have a high enough IQ to understand when you say,“have you seen XYZ, they go to school so happily, why do you have to make my mornings miserable?” Remember how it felt when we were compared, just imagine on one side your kid is sad about leaving you, and on the flip side, you are the one emotionally bashing him for loving you so much (for a pre-schooler, that means not going away from you). Not fair.
This works well. You can ask your husband or mother-in-law, or anyone you trust to drop off your child. At times it becomes particularly tough for kids to see their moms leave them. They might actually be enjoying the school but just letting go of mommy makes it difficult for them. So no harm asking for some help.
Begin by getting picture books about school and friends. Let the kid know how much fun it is to go to school, engage in so many activities, making new friends. Share stories from your school life and talk about the friends you’ve made for life. In my case my husband and I were school mates…
Hope these work for you my friends, as I totally understand there is nothing worst for a mother than a sad clingy baby. And remember, never blame yourself. Because you definitely want the best for your child. And this is his first big step in the real world.
Published here earlier.
Image source: pixabay
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