A Sister’s Apology To Her Brother Who Had To Fight A Lonely Battle For His Orientation

Posted: September 10, 2018

The Supreme Court’s judgement on homosexuality has not just changed the lives of homosexuals, but their loved ones as well. Here is a sister’s apology for not being there when he needed her the most. 

The news on the screen flashed, “Homosexuality is legalised in India.” As I watched activists jump for joy and dance in excitement upon hearing the news, I felt a tug at my heart and found myself misty eyed and emotional.

My immediate reaction was to message my little brother and share the news with him for celebrating the verdict. As I absorbed the news, about all the delirious celebrations from across media, my mind went back to the day when I heard family members laughing at him and calling him a ‘Chhakka’.




The memory stung me and I said sorry to my little brother in my head. He had to hear all that at an age when he was still figuring out who he was. And I also asked forgiveness for the times I could not stand up for him. I was conditioned to do deal with these situations in a certain way.

There were times I bullied him or made fun of him too, our fights were like any other brother and sister. But there were some instances which required more empathy from my end. I forgave my younger self for not knowing better.

I wanted to apologise for all those times that he felt lost, lonely and threatened by people or situations just because of his orientation. I hope this judgment would make things better for all the younger boys and girls who are going through the same pain an trauma as him.

I know it was entirely your battle and your experience. I can never even begin to understand as I was the so called perfectly ‘normal’ child of the family. You were named the ‘black sheep ‘ just because you were still trying to figure things out in your head and the only way you could react was by lashing out or thinking of jumping down from the terrace to get your freedom. I apologise for everyone who could never understand what freedom you wanted and why.

You were the one who knew fashion and make up better than me. You were the one who took care of our mother, night and day until the day she died, when I couldn’t be there. You were the one who took care of each family member after that. I apologise for every person who came close to you, so that you could confide in them, but later made fun of you.

Now, when I look at the news channels, I realise that the battle has just begun. But there are so many lost souls and broken hearts that needs to be tended and vindicated. But I see a beautiful future ahead of you, the possibilities of what you can achieve in life have just become endless after the recent news.

All we need right now is a whole lot of love and light in our lives to pave way for a beautiful tomorrow. For not only us but our future generations who need to be taught that all kinds love is beautiful.

Image source Unsplash

 

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