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Being Maa has never been an easy job, often thankless and never-ending, 24/7. But the place a mother holds in most people's hearts is unassailable.
Being Maa has never been an easy job, often thankless and never-ending, 24/7. But the place a mother holds in most people’s hearts is unassailable.
Aai, Amma, Mumma, Mom or Maa, it happens to be the most soothing word to the human ears, no matter the language it is spoken in. The first word which resonates in our mind when we are in some trouble. For many of us it’s the first word that we learn to babble. From a child who is heard screaming it loud when in pain, to an adult who is going through a myriad of problems, this word acts like a comfort balm to almost everyone. How interesting!
A lot goes in to make a mother or a Maa. Those who have experienced being one can relate. No! I am not going to write about the sacrifices that we make, as I feel we are the most rock solid people who do not need any sympathy.
Now hang in here, life is not always a rosy picture. There are a lot of other emotions too, which race in our mind when we think of the above word or the person concerned….sometimes it is anger when she doesn’t agree to something we desperately need or want, at times it is annoyance when we differ in our point of views, and sometimes it is sheepish when we have tried doing something against her wishes and that has boomeranged to our dismay.
So all in all, the word also rings many other bells in our mind. Apart from being the healer in our lives, she is the one who is responsible for an emotional tornado too…
I sometimes wonder, what happens to each one of us when we become a mother? Why do we suddenly turn into the devil of the house with our favourite venomous word ‘NO’? Aren’t we the same people who cried profusely as children, demanding that chocolate or ice cream that we were denied, stomped our feet for that toy we desperately wanted from that shop, or for that movie or night out that we wanted go for, with our college friends? So then what takes over our mind when it comes to saying a Yes to every demand that our children make?
Suddenly we become the Amma’s, the Aai’s and the Juggernauts who get ‘blessed’ with a weighing scale in our mind to measure the worth and goodness of everything our child demands.
Life is so interesting, it just makes you a different person altogether without any warning, any training or professional classes. We get into the measuring and weighing mode the moment we step into the so called ‘Mommy Shoes’. Trust me, they are not fancy bellies or beautiful stilettos, but are the ugliest pair of faded flat shoes that have no charm and the ones which no one wants to wear.
The peculiarity of it is, that the moment we wear them, we feel as if we’re walking on a balancing beam instead of feeling comfortable. This discomfort keeps pricking us 24/7 in every situation throughout our life.
Sometimes the discomfort is due to love which has an overcast over the cacophony of all the other emotions in our mind; this love is strange because this doesn’t let you give in, but gives you the courage of playing a cold turkey. We all know how difficult it is to contain this love as it results into many unwanted arguments, emotional turmoil, and at times makes us visible in a bad light. The love that wants to carve out the best in our children, to see them walking on the right path, to instill the best values in them. Then comes the other aspect that makes us wear this persona, the fear of failing as a mother, the threat of being labelled as a not so good mother, the terror of being held responsible for every unsuccesful event in your child’s life, as there are many jobless people sitting at every nook and corner, waiting to pass their judgement for free (whether needed or not is a different story altogether).
There are a lot of ingredients which make the Mummas the toughest cookies, but the beauty is that despite all the odds, we still want to get a hug from her, eat that morsel from her hands, want to approach her everytime for helping us with the right direction whenever we are at crossroads of life completely baffled. That Aai is such a versatile soul, that it just takes a few seconds for her warmth to have a downpour. The moment she realises that there is some trouble brewing up with her children, she is all geared up in her armour to ward it off. This lady may have a big ego for others, or might be a very strong human being even if you didn’t care for her as much as she did, or have hurt her knowingly or unknowingly, she is all there to embrace you. It doesn’t matter if you are 2 or 42, if you are small or have grown big, it’s her arms that never fall short and are always open for you.
Think of the various feelings going through her mind, isn’t it difficult to be one? It indeed requires a lot of courage to play this character in the theatre of life where there are very few awards for the Moms or the Mummas. So next time your Amma calls you and behaves as if you were a 5 year old, relax! Breathe in and out, and remember that there is no one else in this world who still cares so much for you.
P.S Talking about my own self, I have a very succesful, strong, independent, strict, confident, and a very loving mother. I owe every single success to her. No matter how much we argue, fight, or disagree, she is the one who has been the anchor of my life. This is a tribute to her endless emotions and thoughts for my well being, for her various renunciations in order to fullfill my desires, for her eternal presence, that makes me a strong person always, for making me what I am. Thank you Maa…
Published here earlier.
Image source: shutterstock
A mother of two munchkins, I took a sanyaas from the corporate long back but I believe life is beyond the corporate success 0and can be enjoyed every single day in various ways. A traveller read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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