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There is a thin line between caring for someone and possessiveness. Care nurtures, and possessiveness destroys. Be careful that you don't mix them up!
There is a thin line between caring for someone and possessiveness. Care nurtures, and possessiveness destroys. Be careful that you don’t mix them up!
“Hey! You should plan an outing with your friends.”
“You should not speak to him, forget about going out with him!”
The situation can be the same in above sentences – wanting to go out with friends – but the reaction speaks volumes about whether it is care or dominance. Dominance is subtly called possessiveness these days. You can possess a commodity but how do you possess a person?
When we fall into relationships, we feel it is our duty to inform the other person about our breaths and steps at every moment. Also the other person feels it is their right to control the actions of the partner.
Care is when someone values your time, but possessiveness is when someone wants to keep a track for your every second and every coordinate in the name of care.
No matter how much we deny it, each one of us needs our space for growth. You can adhere to someone’s possessiveness for a month may be (if you have a lot of patience) but it ultimately clogs you.
And the only reason that I have understood till now for this hustle bustle is trust issues.
Why would you have a problem with the simple and fair actions of someone as long as you trust them? Of course we try to mould ourselves for the person we love, but do it only if you are comfortable and can imbibe those changes in you. Because in the long run, only true personality matters.
Also I have seen cases where we feel sorry for going out with our friends, talking to our friends or attending parties. No we don’t have to be sorry for anything that we permit ourselves for. It is not your problem if anyone has trust issues. Insecurities should be dealt by facing them and not being sorry for our actions.
Also if you are on the other side of the table, expecting your partner to leave the entire world and stick only to you, please stop that. Please realize that they had a life before they met you. Please realize that it is important for us, as humans, to see the world outside.
There may be times your partners would like to go out with their friends without you and that is perfectly alright! Don’t be like a bottle trying to fill up so tight that the cap ultimately pops off.
Smart people know when to step in and when not to. Respecting yours and the other person’s freedom is the best thing you can do. There is nothing like caring and being cared for, but let’s not make it a big issue and end up being possessive. Possess the care in you but do not ever try to possess a person.
Header image is a still from the movie Tere Naam
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As parents, we put a piece of our hearts out into this world and into the custody of the teachers at school and tuition and can only hope and pray that they treat them well.
Trigger Warning: This speaks of physical and emotional violence by teachers, caste based abuse, and contains some graphic details, and may be triggering for survivors.
When I was in Grade 10, I flunked my first preliminary examination in Mathematics. My mother was in a panic. An aunt recommended the Maths classes conducted by the Maths sir she knew personally. It was a much sought-after class, one of those classes that you signed up for when you were in the ninth grade itself back then, all those decades ago. My aunt kindly requested him to take me on in the middle of the term, despite my marks in the subject, and he did so as a favour.
Math had always been a nightmare. In retrospect, I wonder why I was always so terrified of math. I’ve concluded it is because I am a head in the cloud person and the rigor of the step by step process in math made me lose track of what needed to be done before I was halfway through. In today’s world, I would have most probably been diagnosed as attention deficit. Back then we had no such definitions, no such categorisations. Back then we were just bright sparks or dim.
Pathaan touted as SRK’s comeback has been in the news for mixed reasons. Right from the hype around SRK’s comeback and special mentions his body contours; yet I can't watch it!
The movie touted as SRK’s comeback has been in the news for mixed reasons. Right from the hype around the movie being SRK’s comeback and special mentions his body contours and even more than the female lead!
For me, it’s not about Deepika’s bikini colour or was-it-needed skin show. It’s about meaningful content that I find is missing big time. Not just this movie, but a spate of cringe-worthy narratives passed off as ‘movies’ in the recent past. I feel insulted, and not because I am a devoutly religious person or a hardcore feminist, but because I feel the content insults my intelligence.
But before everything else, I am a 90s kid who in the case of movies (and maybe more) is stuck in time as it wrapped around me then and the gamut has too hard an exterior for me to crack it open!
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