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A 25 something woman writes a letter to her parents, explaining that she loves them, but that they need to trust her to do the right thing.
After hundreds of arguments on conflicting opinions, followed by long silences, I have thought of penning down a few words. Probably this is too candid (and unsavoury), but we really need to get few things straight. No disrespect meant.
Firstly, you don’t lose kids when they fall in love with someone; you lose them when you fail to understand them, when you absolutely disapprove of their feelings. And if you do disapprove, please give us a valid reason; spare us from the shitty ones.
Beyond a certain point it becomes difficult for us (kids) to keep explaining things to you, and moving away is the only option left. It hurts, badly. After all who would like to let go of one person you love for someone else you love? Don’t make us choose!
We feel blessed to have you as our parents. We are grateful for all the efforts you have put in to raise us and the challenges you have faced to keep us safe. There is nothing in this world which can repay that. But please don’t use that as a weapon against us, “We spent 23 years bringing you up, and now you have got the guts to go against our wishes?!” Big NO!! (I always thought we were in one team, and you had the best of my interests at heart. How could I go against just because?)
“We are twice your age and have seen the world.” Agreed. But times keep changing. The strategies applied yesterday are irrelevant today. And rigid opinions do no good. Neither to you nor me.
We lack experience, we make mistakes and we do need your guidance. But that doesn’t make you eternally right. Things would be cordial if you could pause and consider our thoughts.
Another thing which really doesn’t work is your worry for “Relative’s opinion”. That relative, who never did anything good for us (kids) except passing comments and skewed remarks, is absolutely insignificant and irrelevant to us. Couldn’t understand why you get so bothered by him!
My best friend means lot to me; don’t put our bond under scanner. Just because he has tattooed his arm, doesn’t make him a bad influence. He is not teaching me to do drugs or smoke all my way up! He lives in a joint family, respects his parents and tattoo is just his personal choice. It doesn’t define his character.
When I get late and reach home beyond 10PM limit; I had an extra meeting in office. When I say that, don’t assume I am lying. Your assumptions only make me feel that my explanation is worthless and no matter what I say, you just won’t believe! Eventually, I will stop explaining.
The world outside is a battlefield; everyday out there is a fight for survival. Things would be easier for us if you could understand and support us. If we do wrong, do take a stand against us. But only if we do wrong, and not because it is not as per your protocol. We respect you from the bottom of our hearts, so we request you to be our strength. Don’t tear us down.
Image source: pixabay
An engineer by brains and a writer at heart- in this beautiful chaos of donning two hats, it's the ink and paper which keeps her going. Her love for expression is undying, unapologetic and read more...
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If her MIL had accepted her with some affection, wouldn't they have built a mutually happier relationship by now?
The incident took place ten years ago.
Smita could visit her mother only in summers when her daughter had school holidays. Her daughter also enjoyed meeting her Nani, and both of them had done their reservations for a week. A month before their visit, her husband told her, “My mom is coming for 4-5 months!”
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Trigger Warning: This has graphic descriptions of violence and may be triggering to survivors and victims of violence.
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