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A new mom speaks of her journey through pregnancy and childbirth to now – how she felt, and how she fell in love with her new baby.
You are 4 months old now… so am I as a mother. I never knew being a mother would be such an amazing feeling. You are my world now, and I know I am your world. I love you the most, and you need me the most. You make me feel complete and I make you feel secure. Your smile makes my day and my hug pacifies you. When you cry, I cry, and when you don’t eat I don’t feel like eating either.
It gives me goosebumps when you touch my face with your tiny fingers, when your talk goes on and on in your own language, and when you keep looking into my eyes without even blinking. You pee, poop and puke out all your food multiple times over me, and now you have started drooling too, but that never disgusts me.
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No matter how tired I am or how bad my body is aching, I still want to take you in my arms whenever you need me. All these pains, sleepless nights, drastic changes in my physical appearance, social cut-offs, no outings, no dinner dates, all of it: believe me, they are all worth it when I have an angel like you in my life.
When I got to know that I was pregnant I was so excited, my happiness had no limits. Then started the tough time… to be honest, there were times when I thought: what was the point of having a baby when my life was already going so good? But when I saw your small face in the sonography, I realised that I needed you badly, and I was so damn desperate to see you, desperate to take you in my arms, desperate to love you immensely.
I know it sounds very filmy, but I really mean it. I want to give you everything which I did not get. I missed out on a lot of things in my life but I don’t want to regret or crib about anything, because that is what made me strong. But I will make sure to give you everything.
After lot of pain you were finally born, and when I saw you for the very first time I was on cloud 9. I couldn’t believe that I created a human being; it was like a miracle. I wanted to cry so hard, but at the same time I was smiling through all those happy tears. I wanted to touch you, kiss you, hug you right at that moment, but I could not. You came into my arms after a long wait. They say “sabr ka Phal meetha Hota hai” (the fruits of patience are sweet), and I second that. We waited a very long time for you. I still feel very nostalgic when I think about all those 9 months and the day you were born.
I always wanted to work and never thought of leaving my job, but now I no longer feel the need to work. I am growing with you, it’s a new birth for me too. I want to give all my time, my love and my attention to you.
As I said, it’s a rebirth for me and you have changed me a lot. Before you were born, I used to be very impatient, but now things have changed and they’ve changed for the better.
I love you the most, my l’il munchkin! You are my world, my sunshine!
Image source: pixabay
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