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These new mom tips are meant as much for people around mothers-to-be, as for the mom herself. Be kind!
In most cultures, women have been treated as people whose sole purpose on this planet was to take care of the household and produce children to take the name of the father ahead.
Times have changed, women have stepped out. They’ve made a mark for themselves and proved that women are capable of much more than washing dishes, putting up a decent meal and giving birth.
Yet, when it comes to motherhood, we still believe that it all comes ‘easy’ to women. How I wish I had been given a more real picture of what childbirth and the post partum experience is like. Rather, most of us create an illusion of what life post pregnancy will be like.
We tell the expecting mom how much she will glow after her delivery. How she will fall in love with her baby. Fair enough, but do we need to make it all so rosy?
The kind of love and compassion a woman needs post baby are not given much importance too. She is fussed over during pregnancy but invariably takes a back seat in everyone’s life once the child arrives!
I’m giving these new mom tips to mothers-to-be therefore, with much love and support. I can promise you the journey won’t be easy, but nonetheless, it will be a memorable time for you to look back on!
Being a new mom is not easy. It never was. Only love and support from all around helps a person sail through.
Best of luck for this voyage. And remember self-love is the best love!
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Before expecting the daughter in law to love, respect and accept the new family, it is only fair that the family demonstrates all of these first.
If you are a married Indian woman, one of the first words you hear from your in laws is that you are now a daughter of the house. How true is that statement though? Are daughters in law really treated as daughters or is this only lip service?
A friend recently confided how hurt she felt when she wanted to visit her in-laws along with her husband but was told not to, because the in-laws wanted time alone with their son. Naturally, she was taken aback since she had always been fed this trope – that she was the daughter, not the daughter in law. Why then this sudden keeping at arm’s distance? Would a son in law ever be told not to accompany his wife on her visit to her parents because they wanted quality time with their daughter? That is unimaginable in a patriarchal society.
It is ok to want time alone with the married offspring but how does that meld into the Indian family system, where independent choices are less important than the whole family coming together?
Chhorii starring Nushrratt Bharuccha is another horror movie challenging the patriarchal standards that persist in society!
Adding to the list of horror movies that use the genre to challenge patriarchal standards, Chhorii is a scathing look at the so-called moral standards using which women are judged and turned into ‘witches’.
When does a chhorii (girl) become a chudail (witch)? Like the brilliant Bulbul from last year, Chhorii asks this question poignantly, making us search deep within ourselves for the answer. Bulbul becomes a witch in order to protect the women and girls of her village when she dies after suffering patriarchal torture at the hands of her husband and brother-in-law. Why is the witch in Chhorii a witch?
An amazing Nushrratt Bharuccha stars as Sakshi, a pregnant woman who comes to a remote village with her husband to escape loan sharks. But all is not right there, and Sakshi can sense it. The real horror is the patriarchal nature of their hosts, rather than the supernatural beings. Will Sakshi be able to escape with her and her unborn child’s lives? Watch Chhorii (now streaming on Amazon Prime Video) to find out.
A freshly minted mother with a newborn baby needs me time as much as the next person. So ladies, stop feeling guilty about it!
So, I just had a baby. It’s been three months and they have been a rollercoaster. They have felt like the slowest, most fascinating, most challenging, most difficult yet most wondrous three months of my entire life. But many of the expectations I had, before becoming a new mother, of being a mother, have not real been realized, yet other expectations have been met and have even been surpassed.
I had a C-section and must confess that when the baby was first shown to me my reaction was more confusion and surprise than the overwhelming love or joy that is talked about. It was amazing to suddenly be face to face with this tiny bundled up wrinkly creature and then to just wonder where it came from. Maybe it was the anaesthesia or the entirely new process of going through a major surgery, but I was just dazed, groggy and wanting to sleep real bad.
Our image of Indian motherhood is the blissfully smiling mom adorned with sanskaari married woman markers... and no one talks about postpartum blues!
Our image of Indian motherhood is the blissfully smiling mom adorned with sanskaari married woman markers… and no one talks about postpartum blues!
“I think you guys would be better off without me. I am a bad mother,” I said to my husband and proceeded to cry incessantly on his shoulders.
I was going through postpartum blues, although I had no idea that was what it was then. When we brought our daughter home after 2 sleepless nights at the hospital, I had thought the worst of it was over. But I had no idea that it was just the beginning.