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Children love whoever loves them - and their love is transparent. Why put them in a difficult spot by asking them, "Who do you love more, Mama or Papa?"
Children love whoever loves them – and their love is transparent. Why put them in a difficult spot by asking them, “Who do you love more, Mama or Papa?”
Little Aarohi is the cute, chubby, chirpy, and witty 4yr old daughter of my neighbours. Her parents are both working in MNCs. She has her grandparents at home, who take care of her when her parents are out at work.
Aarohi is very endearing to everyone in the neighbourhood. She goes to play school, and it is her routine to come to see me every day after coming from school. Awww…. I am totally in love with her! And she too reciprocates in her sweet voice, “I laaaabbbb youuuuuu too anty!” Yes, anty! Much love for this. My son and my husband also love to giggle and mingle with her. Sometimes she comes and stays for hours and at these times I totally lose myself in her sweet naughty talk. She talks about her school, her parents, grandparents (dada dadi, nana nani), and her friends. Her boyfriend in fact. Hahaha, she calls him her boyfriend, Aarav, her classmate. She talks a lot and I like her innocence.
Yesterday, as usual, she was sitting near me but she was not her usual self. I asked her “Why is my baby so quiet today?” What she told me got me thinking.
She said, “Anty why does dadi (parental grandmother) always ask me the same question?”
“Which question, baby?” I asked.
“Anty she askes me everyday who do I like/love most – Mamma or Papa? Sometimes she asks dadi or nani (maternal grandmother)? Dadu too asks the same question.” I was stunned. I continued listening to her. “Today again they asked. Auuurrr mujhe gussaa aaya baaada saaara. Maine joool se bola mein kisi ko pyaallll nahi karti hun! (I got angry and then I screamed aloud and said I don’t love anybody!)” And she started crying.
Ohhh! My poor baby! I felt bad for her. I tried to soothe her. I gave her her favourite chocolate and she gave me a kiss. Her love to me is precious. Yes maybe for her grandparents too, but in process of loving our kids, we overlook the truth. We are hurting them somewhere with our egocentric thoughts and talk. Children only understand love and show their fondness to whoever reciprocates it like them, unconditionally.
I always try to comprehend the sense of this question. I recall that the same question had been asked of me so many time even in my teens. And the same issue is approached with my son too. People ask him who do he love most! And yes, to tell the truth, this question is mostly asked by the grandparents or our uncles and aunts. Irrespective of paternal or maternal.
Parents are equally beloved to kids. Our ways to love someone may vary but love and emotions remain same. There was the time when my mother-in-law asked the same question to my son. And when he answers ‘mamma’ her expression is like, hell! And when he replies ‘papa’ she had that broad smile on her face and lots of blessings for him. Pathetic. My brothers too asked the same. But there he behaves smart. If he wants something, his love then is for the one who can get him that thing! As he grew older, he answers in a more diplomatic manner now: “I love both. I love all!” Hmm… maturity!
I agree that giving and receiving love from children is something peerless. But does it really matter – to try and find out who they love most? Even for a mother, all her children are equal, but still, sometimes comes a question “Mamma whom do you love most?” Sometimes kids do say you know papa loves my sister most or mamma loves my younger brother most. But do they really mean it? No. And moreover, when they are really young, their behaviour is innocent. But being the sensible adult, why do we try to kill their innocence?
Respect their love for whomever it is. Do not impose your thinking on them. They will definitely convey their love to you in their own way.
Image source: pixabay
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Myself Pooja aka Nirali. 'Nirali' who is inclusion of all good(s) n bad(s). Not a writer, just trying to be outspoken.
While playing the roles of a daughter, a wife, a mother, a read more...
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A new Gallup poll reveals that up to 40% of Indian women are angry compared to 27% of men. This is a change from 29% angry women and 28% angry men 10 years ago, in 2012.
Indian women are praised as ‘susheel’, virtuous and to be emulated when they are obedient, ready to serve others and when they put the wishes of others before their own. However, Indian women no longer seem content to be in the constrictive mould that the patriarchy has fashioned for them. A Gallup poll looked at the issue of women’s anger, their worry, stress, sadness and found that women consistently feel these emotions more than men, particularly in India.
What I loved was how there is so much in the movie of the SRK we have known, and also a totally new star. The gestures, the smile, the wit and the charisma are all too familiar, but you also witness a rawness, an edginess.
When a movie that got the entire nation in a twist – for the right and wrong reasons – hits the theatres, there is bound to be noise. From ‘I am going to watch it – first day first show’ to ‘Boycott the movie and make it a flop’, social media has been a furore of posts.
Let me get one thing straight here – I did not watch Pathaan to make a statement or to simply rebel as people would put it. I went to watch it for the sheer pleasure of witnessing my favourite superstar in all his glory being what he is best at being – his magnificent self. Because when it comes to screen presence, he burns it, melts it and then resurrects it as well like no other. Because when it comes to style and passion, he owns it like a boss. Because SRK is, in a way, my last connecting point to the girl that I once was. Though I have evolved into so many more things over the years, I don’t think I am ready to let go of that girl fully yet.
There is no elephant in the room really here because it’s a fact that Bollywood has a lot of cleaning up to do. Calling out on all the problematic aspects of the industry is important and in doing that, maintaining objectivity is also equally imperative. I went for Pathaan for entertainment and got more than I had hoped for. It is a clever, slick, witty, brilliantly packaged action movie that delivers what it promises to. Logic definitely goes flying out of the window at times and some scenes will make you go ‘kuch bhi’ , but the screenplay clearly reminds you that you knew all along what you were in for. The action sequences are lavish and someone like me who is not exactly a fan of this genre was also mind blown.
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