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Being a new mom and working woman meant that I learnt to rush through the day, but my daughter soon taught me how to slow down and truly enjoy my leisure.
Donning the hat of a Mom has brought about umpteen changes to me and to my lifestyle. Of all the things that have changed, mostly for the better, the one that amazes me the most is the way I have mastered the art of accomplishing tasks at lightning speed.
There was a time when I used to relish my meals, taking my own sweet time. I would also be astonished to see a few of my friends cook up a dish rapidly. There was also a time when I would visit the spa regularly to relax and rejuvenate, and would spend hours chatting with close friends without having to worry about the ticking of the clock.
And then, then motherhood happened and time started flying like a rocket. Through rushed meals and easy cooking that can be done in a jiffy, through quick showers and hastily tying up the hair in a messy bun, through having short conversations with friends and completing my writing assignments in record thirty minutes, I could see life just zooming past me.
Whenever I read those beautifully composed, poignant viral poems and articles on social media, asking mommies to slow down, I would genuinely wonder how such a thing was possible. My mind would get infused with questions such as, “How do I slow down, when even a loo break becomes a luxury? How do I slow down, when the day passes in the blink of an eye? And at the end of the day, I exclaim, really, it’s over?”
The more I tried to hold on to time, the more I found myself getting dragged along with its momentum. When the pace seemed to be accelerating each day, the only choice was to surrender to it. Before I could even discern it, a year had passed.
Then came the big milestone, the one that all parents look forward to with bated breath – my daughter started walking! It was a delight to witness those cute little feet take baby steps. The adorable penguin walk would make my heart melt and also make me laugh. She wanted to walk all around, everywhere and found pleasure in practising her newly acquired skill.
We began our walks to the park together. On the first day, the moment we were out, her tiny fingers curled around my palm and I realized that my daughter was in no hurry to reach the park, even though she loves being there. She wanted to enjoy the moment, explore the surroundings and I followed her lead. As we strolled ahead at leisure, I felt a deep sense of tranquillity and joy. It was not the first time we were sharing a special moment, but it was the first time in months when I felt like time had stopped. I began to excitedly look forward to these daily walks with her, when we would just talk, walk, ponder, laugh and soak it up. My mind felt absolutely free from any other thoughts at that point in time and all of me would be there, in that moment.
Today my daughter is seventeen months old and this is my most cherished time of the day. This is when I unwind and life seems to be at a standstill. I know this is not going to last forever. Tomorrow she will enter a new phase of life with new interests, friends and discoveries accompanied by a shift in priorities. But I am sure she will continue to find her own ways for reminding me that it’s important to pause now and then, here and there.
The beautiful irony of motherhood is that the one who makes it emotionally and physically draining is also the one who makes it a blissful and divine experience; the one who makes you feel exhausted is also the one who makes you feel refreshed and invigorated; the one who can sometimes frustrate you is also the one who can make your day like no other; the one who makes your life chaotic and action-packed is also the one who teaches you to slow down and savour the moments.
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Published here earlier.
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Multiple award winning blogger, influencer, author, multi-faceted entrepreneur, creative writing mentor, choreographer, social activist and a wanderer at heart read more...
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I huffed, puffed and panted up the hill, taking many rest breaks along the way. My calf muscles pained, my heart protested, and my breathing became heavy at one stage.
“Let’s turn back,” my husband remarked. We stood at the foot of Shravanbelagola – one of the most revered Jain pilgrimage centres. “We will not climb the hill,” he continued.
My husband and I were vacationing in Karnataka. It was the month of May, and even at the early hour of 8 am in the morning, the sun scorched our backs. After visiting Bangalore and Mysore, we had made a planned stop at this holy site in the Southern part of the state en route to Hosur. Even while planning our vacation, my husband was very excited at the prospect of visiting this place and the 18 m high statue of Lord Gometeshwara, considered one of the world’s tallest free-standing monolithic statues.
What we hadn’t bargained for was there would be 1001 granite steps that needed to be climbed to have a close-up view of this colossal magic three thousand feet above sea level on a hilltop. It would be an understatement to term it as an arduous climb.
Why is the Social Media trend of young mothers of boys captioning their parenting video “Dear future Daughter-in-Law, you are welcome” deeply problematic and disturbing to me as a young mother of a girl?
I have recently come across a trend on social media started by young mothers of boys who share videos where they teach their sons to be sensitive and understanding and also make them actively participate in household chores.
However, the problematic part of this trend is that such reels or videos are almost always captioned, “To my future daughter-in-law, you are welcome.” I know your intentions are positive, but I would like to point out how you are failing the very purpose you wanted to accomplish by captioning the videos like this.
I know you are hurt—perhaps by a domestic household that lacks empathy, by a partner who either is emotionally unavailable, is a man-child adding to your burden of parenting instead of sharing it, or who is simply backed by overprotective and abusive in-laws who do not understand the tiring journey of a working woman left without any rest as doing the household chores timely is her responsibility only.
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