Connect with like minded women from the industry and leaders from Corporate circles and let’s listen to some truly inspiring stories of women who have gone beyond their comfort zones! Join us on 9th August, in Bangalore for WICA 2019
Changing name after marriage means a woman loses her identity, and leads to so many ‘practical’ problems – this is why I did not!
15 years into my marriage and some grey hairs later I find myself pondering over the day, when my then boyfriend of 7 years and I discussed marriage. He reminded me of the importance of his family in his life which was not a surprise to me at all as we had known each other for long enough for me to know his family well. I was quite fond of them, but I refused to change my last name after marriage – which was a newsflash for him. Yet, I was not surprised that he was not startled by that idea (since he knew the feminist in me too well). In my mind his insisting on it could have been a deal breaker. Fortunately (obviously for him), it was a non-issue to him!
So, many people thought that it was the rebel in me that made me keep my maiden name. Some thought that it was the boarding life I had lived since my younger years that made me stubborn about the idea. Many thought that I just like to be different.
They couldn’t be more wrong!
There were three things that played a role in this decision for me.
First was the fact that I find it genuinely difficult in this country to change a name officially; from pan card to passport to bank accounts to PPF account. The whole process is long drawn and tedious (or at least was in my time).
The second was I thought about my CV, my identity at my work place and how my work experience will be attached to a new name and I was uncomfortable with that.
The third was – why I should even be expected to change my name? So yeah, call me a rebel; not that anyone expected otherwise in my case. In essence I had a problem with the social norm and in fact any norm that is forced upon a woman.
Now, I respect a woman’s choice and certainly do not think of women as submissive if they did or have changed their last name. My problem is the assumption that a woman will change her last name post marriage or the belief that a woman ought to do so. While one may argue what’s in a name? So my counter argument is – exactly, so why change it?
For a woman to keep her maiden name or not ought to be a matter of choice. No matter what she decides, she should not be labeled as submissive or a rebel or good DIL as opposed to a not so good one. This decision is rather personal and should not be imposed – is all I say.
Image source: shutterstock
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, you can request to be a Women's Web contributor too!
I am currently a stay at home mom trying to raise a dare devil of
My Name Is Not Just A Word: Why Should I Change My Surname?
Was It An Imperfect Marriage… Or Something Else Nameless?
Leaving An Abusive Marriage Is Hard. The Stories Of These 6 Women Are Revealing
Marriage: An over-rated institution?
Get our weekly mailer and never miss out on the best reads by and about women!