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Keeping the maiden name after marriage is common these days. It can have hilarious consequences in a world unable to come to terms with this choice of women.
After my marriage, I had to take up numerous life changing decisions, like compromising on the extended weekend sleep hours, cooking up just a single meal on a Sunday and not washing my clothes for an entire month.
But there was one thing I never had to decide about, at least in my mind. It was changing my surname to my husband’s. However, that came with its own highs and lows.
Thanks to a long ancestral lineage, we have a slightly controversial surname for a Hindu household – Khan. As a kid I have been a victim to various awkward situations all thanks to the ‘Khan’.
Well, after the wedding almost everyone including my parents and my caring husband thought I would change my maiden name to save myself from the numerous embarrassing situations. So they didn’t bother to ask.
Just a week after the wedding, my Dad brought me a bank account opening paper where he had carefully written out my name in block letters with my husband’s surname!
The husband signed off thank-you notes on social media as Mr & Mrs Singh !
It was a little difficult to bring my family to terms with a decision I never took. And now, about three years later, I have had to face many hilarious situations.
Once an interviewer asked me, “You have a fancy Hindu name but a Muslim surname. So you are a Hindu, now married to a Muslim. It must have been hard to convince the families?” (Whatever happened to secularism)
One day a wedding invite arrived addressed to Mr & Mrs Khan. My poor husband didn’t know how to react.
My Adhaar Card arrived identifying me to be my father’s wife!
A couple of weeks back, we were travelling abroad. While at the airline’s counter we were bombarded with questions. The airlines personnel was audacious enough to ask me why my surname wasn’t same as my husband’s. He even went on to demand our marriage registration certificate. When we showed him a photocopy, he wanted to see the original.
All said and done, however controversial my name is, that is who I am. It is my identity since birth and till death do us apart…
Image source: Indian wedding by Shutterstock.
During most of the time in the day I work with a media agency and when I'm not doing that I'm mostly travelling or reading up. read more...
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I wanted to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting 'win' moments.
My daughter turned eight years old in January, and among the various gifts she received from friends and family was an absolutely beautiful personal journal for self-growth. A few days ago, she was exploring the pages when she found a section for writing a letter to her future self. She found this intriguing and began jotting down her thoughts animatedly.
My curiosity piqued and she could sense it immediately. She assured me that she would show me the letter soon, and lo behold, she kept her word.
I glanced at her words, expecting to see a mention of her parents in the first sentence. But, to my utter delight, the first thing she had written about was her AMBITION. Yes, the caps here are intentional because I want to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting ‘win’ moments.
Uorfi Javed has been making waves through social media, and is often the target of trolls. So who and what exactly is this intriguing young woman?
Uorfi Javed (no relation to Javed Akhtar) is a name that crops up in my news feeds every now and again. It is usually because she got trolled for being in some or other ‘daring’ outfit and then posting those images on social media. If I were asked, I would not be able to name a single other reason why she is famous. I am told that she is an actor but I would have no frankly no clue about her body of work (pun wholly unintended).
So is Urfi Javed (or Uorfi Javed as she prefers) famous only for being famous? How does she impact the cause of feminism by permitting herself to be objectified, trolled, reviled?
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