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The balatkar chamatkar joke in 3 Idiots was in horrible taste - can you imagine this scene from the point of view of a rape victim?
The balatkar chamatkar joke in 3 Idiots was in horrible taste – can you imagine this scene from the point of view of a rape victim?
How many of you have seen 3 Idiots? I guess, almost everybody. And how many of you remember that prank played upon Chatur, where his speech was changed? Where the word ‘chamatkar’ was replaced by ‘balatkar’? I would be lying if I say that I did not laugh watching that scene. Like billions of other viewers, I too enjoyed that scene. I too was an idiot who failed to realise how cruel that joke was.
Now, can you for once, watch that scene from the perspective of a rape victim? If you truly can, then can you laugh on watching that scene again? Can you now feel how a rape victim must have felt watching the most dreadful incident of her life, being displayed as an entertaining joke?
Will that person be able to laugh at such a joke ever? Wouldn’t it be more like, that, every time you had a good laugh over that joke, that person’s heart must have bled? Every time you had found that scene funny, she/he would have re-lived the trauma all over again? Every time, you wanted to replay that scene, he/she would have searched for ways to erase that entire episode? Every time when you would have waited for that scene to appear, he/she would have dreaded it?
The trauma, the suffering, the fear, the insecurity, the hopelessness, the disgust, the wrath and hatred, all wrapped up in a silly joke. And jokes like these are not uncommon, you can find one in almost every movie, or you might just read it as a whatsapp forward with lots of funny emojis, or on various social networking sites.
The day I started thinking about it from a rape victim’s perspective, I felt guilty, I felt low, I felt sorry for being a part of a society where we joke about rape so casually, where we regularly hear the F word being associated with mothers, wives, daughters and sisters, where instead of raising our voice, we chose to turn a deaf ear to, all the objectionable words used against us.
Have we totally lost it? Are we actually so lame? May be we are. And those who are not, must be at the verge of becoming so. News about rapes and molestation have become so common these days that, we read it or listen to it just as causally as we see/read any entertainment news, or a review of a blockbuster movie.
When something like Nirbhaya tries reviving our dead soul, then we start to think, feel, and act. But, that doesn’t have an everlasting effect. It withers away soon to be revived by some new sad news. Sadly, the truth remains that only and only a victim can feel or relate to this dreadful pain. Others can just pray that this doesn’t happen to them or their loved ones. And I can wish for all our prayers to be answered by the almighty.
It’s the eternal wish of every human being to be respected by others, but how many of us actually feel respected? Every time I walk through the roads of my very own city, I find myself struggling in the middle of some filthy look, or a lewd comment, or a nasty joke, a mere piece of entertainment.
I know it’s impossible to have a society full of clean sober people. But, the least we can do is, stop entertaining the lewd jokes passed on via the social networking sites, teach the men as well as women in our family to avoid using objectionable foul language addressed to anyone, confront people who are used to passing on these lewd comments, stand up for ourselves, our womanhood.
Let’s hope for a world where a Chamatkar stops all the Balatkars. If you respect us as your mothers, sisters, wives and daughters, then stop finding mere entertainment from objectifying us.
Image source: YouTube
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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