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We equate fair with beautiful, and a dark complexioned woman is considered to be not beautiful by default. When will this change?
“It would be okay if she is arrogant, but she has to be fair.”
It’s hard to believe but I have heard someone saying this when she was asked about her prospective daughter-in-law. This someone is also the mother of two dark-skinned daughters and was having a hard time finding eligible grooms for them. Reason? No point for guessing.
Shyamli is masters in mathematics and takes tuition up to graduation level. She is a great cook and a very good natured 29 years old girl. Despite all these qualities, her parents are worried about her marriage. The reason is simple – people asking, “What’s her complexion?”
She has been rejected several times because of the colour of her skin. All her attributes have shrouded behind this crazy desire to ‘choose’ a fair complexioned woman. Sometimes, she had been displayed in front of a few prospective alliances and ‘so called judges’ of her beauty. Some of them even asked for a vast dowry to compensate her complexion. Isn’t it disgusting?
There are so many families, where in-laws prefer and give more importance to a better-looking, fair-skinned bahu. I’ve known some families who rejected some qualified girls to get a fair complexioned bahu.
It’s perfectly okay if the boy is ugly. His wife has to be an angel. It is sad when your choice of partner depends on skin-tone.
It’s good to see that some celebrities like Kangna Ranaut and Abhay Deol refused to endorse fairness products but I wonder if it would make any difference. Because even in entertainment industry actress are suffering racism. Last year, ‘Parched’ fame Tannishtha Chatterjee walked out of a comedy show after they made mean comments on her skin tone.
Those relentless fairness products advertisements are so sickening. A girl not able to talk to her father until she is fair. A girl thinking that her dreams could be fulfilled only if she turns fair.
Paridhi, the female protagonist of my debut book, We Will Meet Again, is dusky, and I was surprised to see some readers not understanding how a good-looking man like Abhigyan (The male protagonist) can fall in love with a girl like Paridhi.
“Why would he fall for her? She isn’t even beautiful,” someone said this to me.
Nowhere in my book had I mentioned that she isn’t beautiful. But, since she is not fair, people presumed she isn’t beautiful. Isn’t it strange?
There’s no point defining beauty by skin-tone. The warmth of your nature, kindness and positive attitude towards life make you beautiful, and confidence enhances that beauty. You can’t feel beautiful if you are not confident. And, confidence comes with knowledge, efficiency, talent, not just good-looks or fairness.
Self-approval is important. Once you accept the way you are, mean comments don’t bother you anymore. You start working on other relevant aspects of your life that lead you closer to success. Try to be an achiever, not fair. Once you are successful, who cares what’s your complexion?
Published here earlier.
Image source: By Angharad Woods (Contact us/Photo submission) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons, for representational purposes only.
Tarang Sinha is a Delhi based writer, translator and painter. She's the author of We Will Meet Again. She has translated a book titled 'Don't You Quit' published by Westland Books. Her articles read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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