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A case may be made for the 'haanikarak bapu' of Dangal being a tiger dad, but in our patriarchal society, we perhaps need a few of those!
A case may be made for the ‘haanikarak bapu’ of Dangal being a tiger dad, but in our patriarchal society, we perhaps need a few of those!
Post Dangal, I found my six-year daughter (aka daddy’s darling) getting all clingy with me. She watched the first half of the movie with much interest and spent a large part of the second half chewing contemplatively on her popcorn.
Not surprising, as my husband made a joke about throwing her into the pool to learn swimming just like the ‘haanikarak’ dad in the movie. Which got me thinking, are we going to witness the rise of the Tiger dad?
Will every Indian dad start focusing on his daughters, expecting a medal out of them or god forbid, view them as a meal ticket? Are we going to witness a whole generation of Mahaveer Singh Phogats or Richard Williams in the making?
When I was watching the movie, I wondered how the “this is for your own good girls” angle would be worked in and at what age the realization would set in. Robbing them of their childhood and stripping them off all vestiges of femininity can be viewed as child abuse and I’m sure if Phogat’s wife (if she were so inclined) had asked for a separation and custody of the children, the courts (or rather the panchayat) would have ruled in her favour.
However, I liked the way it was handled. The scene where one of the girls’ about-to-be-married-friend mentions that “at least your dad is invested in you and spends time worrying about your future instead of palming you off in marriage….” made perfect sense. And I hope it is this message that all dads (rural and urban alike) take away.
Instilling a sense of self-worth in a girl and equipping her with skills will give her a chance not only to look after herself but also her family (and yes, this includes her parents whether she’s married or not.). Give your daughters the power to script their own future and they might just end up surprising you and themselves!
The reason behind Phogat’s feminist attitude may be selfish and driven largely by his ego but the result is a bunch of girls who are ready to take on whatever the world throws at them. Empowerment comes in strange disguises but it always leaves a positive impact and sets a glorious precedent.
Moreover, Tiger Dads may just be the need of the hour, especially in a society such as ours which is so steeped in patriarchy that little girls are taught that besides manual labour and reproduction they have no role to play in society and applying their minds is a mortal sin.
In such cases, one thing’s for sure: a ‘Haanikarak Bapu’ would do more good than harm.
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Roopa Prabhakar describes herself as a mother, a working woman, a closet feminist and blogger. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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