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A single woman's life is scrutinized and judged. Societal attitudes towards single women needs change and women must choose not be affected judgemental people.
A single woman’s life is scrutinized and judged. Societal attitudes towards single women needs change and women must choose not be affected judgemental people.
I have been searching for an apartment where I plan to move in with my parents. Having lived independently for the past 4.5 years, this has been a big change.
I called up a prospective landlord and had a grilling interview session, gratifying his curiosity as he was ticking off his eligibility checklist.
What do you do?
Manager at a reputed company. Tick
Who all will be living in the house? We want only families.
My parents and I. Tick
Are you married?
No.
You are not married, still?
Still? This stranger did not even know my age. Not that knowing that I am into my late 20s would have changed his reaction.
The same landlord would have been unwilling to rent the house to me, had I been living alone or with friends as single women are a threat to society’s morality. When I was staying alone, my life was always under scrutiny and my lifestyle was invariably frowned upon by neighbours.
Single female friends my age and older living with parents receive the following remarks from men:
Oh, you are living with your parents, how boring!
No independence, that’s sad!
You need your freedom at this age!
The same men, when married prefer living with parents, or having parents move in with them. The concept of independence conveniently gets replaced by virtues of respect for elders, Indian culture and family values.
The female friends I am talking about (including me) may have been married before and have bravely made some difficult decisions to live a life of dignity. Others have refused to succumb to societal pressures and would tie the knot only when they feel truly happy about it. All are financially independent. But every now and then society loves to demean us, and at times the confidence and courage we have mustered is successfully shaken.
We tend to respect married women, and women with children for being caregivers and nurturing a family. Whereas single women are always made to feel less – less adaptable, less compromising, less love worthy.
It is not about being married or single but about respecting an individual’s personal choice.
We cannot stop people from talking. There is only so much we can control. But we can choose not to be affected by random, judgmental people. This one is for all the single women out there – you are doing great! Please don’t let anybody make you feel inadequate.
Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts … good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don’t hurt. They’re not painful. That’s not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourselves with. —Michelle Obama
Image Source: Pexels
I like to write about the problems that have plagued the Indian society. I feel that the concept of gender equality is still alien , and that has been the focus of my articles and posts. read more...
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Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
While boys are taught to naturally own the space they enter, girls are taught to give up, to accommodate, to adjust since "it is their primary responsibility to keep families and relations together."
Yesterday, I was watching these 4 young girls around 16 – 17 years old play badminton. They were having fun, goofing around with all 4 of them equally involved in the game.
In some time two of their male friends joined them, and as part of round robin, the 2 boys replaced two of the girls. All good.
As the play continued, I started noticing a change in the way the game was being played. The shuttle was played most of the times between the two boys and there was a sense of competition and aggression brought in. The other 2 girls playing soon starting losing interest in the game as they hardly got any game time. Even if the shuttle came towards them, the boy in their team would move and play that shot. They soon moved to the sidelines as the boys continued to play.
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