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As women, it is important for us to stand by other women's choices as it is to make our own choices. Being judgemental should be kept far away.
As women, it is important for us to stand by other women’s choices as it is to make our own choices. Being judgemental should be kept far away.
Robert Frost was not the only one who spent sleepless nights pondering over two roads ‘diverged in a yellow wood’. Most of us face the same predicament several times each day and wish we could ‘travel both’.
And when you happen to be a woman, the dilemma becomes a routine of sorts. From deciding a simple menu for the day to the clothes you must wear… you are always struggling to choose. Now whether to wear the burkini or the bikini, whether to breast feed or bottle feed, should you be a stay at home mom or put your child in day care and be off to work… women are forever entangled in this maze and even after they have their pick, they are struggling to prove the validity of their choice to all and sundry.
That is precisely what I ‘choose’ to talk about today. Needless to say women never have it easy and even the most successful business czarinas will vouch for it. Indra Nooyi’s famous anecdote when her mother told her not to forget who she really is ( a mother and wife) says it all. But that is really not what I look at here.
The focus here is on allowing yourself to decide for yourself. Yes, your mother, husband, mother-in-law or your children may drive you to a certain point in your life but let that final choice rest with you and you alone.
And why just yourself, allow those like you to take their own stand as well. Don’t be harsh on a friend who chooses to leave her toddler back home to pursue her dreams. Similarly, if a neighbour chooses her children over her career, she doesn’t become a lesser feminist than you are. Her biggest accomplishment, for all you know, may as well be her children.
There is yet another perplexing thing that comes to mind here. While the Rio fever was at its peak, there was news of a Mr World contest won by Rohit Khandelwal from India. Almost instantly there were parallels drawn between the woman power at Rio and a man making his mark at a beauty pageant. The comparisons were derogatory to all women associated with the modelling industry. If it’s criminal to look down upon someone for their physical attributes it’s equally dismal to mock at one who desires to look her best.
Yes, women definitely have a tougher time choosing life vis a vis men. Mostly they concede to the ideas flaunted by society. But to truly liberate themselves, they need to be more accepting of the choices they make in life. They need to be less judgemental of other women who think differently and most importantly they need to stop seeking approval from each other for their decisions. That is the only way they can pull each other up.
For then it wouldn’t matter what attire each one of us chooses to wear. What will matter will only be the conviction with which the choice is made.
Image source: shutterstock
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Rajshri Deshpande, who played the fiery protagonist in Trial by Fire along with Abhay Deol speaks of her journey and her social work.
Rajshri Deshpande as the protagonist in ‘Trial by Fire’, the recent Netflix show has received raving reviews along with the show itself for its sensitive portrayal of the Uphaar Cinema Hall fire tragedy, 1997 and its aftermath.
The limited series is based on the book by the same name written by Neelam and Shekhar Krishnamoorthy, who lost both their children in the tragedy. We got an opportunity to interview Rajshri Deshpande who played Neelam Krishnamoorthy, the woman who has been relentlessly crusading in the court for holding the owners responsible for the sheer negligence.
Rajshri Deshpande is more than an actor. She is also a social warrior, the rare celebrity from the film industry who has also gone back to her roots to give to poverty struck farming villages in her native Marathwada, with her NGO Nabhangan Foundation. Of course a chance to speak with her one on one was a must!
“What is a woman’s job, Ramesh? Taking care of parents-in-law, husband, children, home and things at work—all at the same time? She isn’t God or a superhuman."
The arrays of workstations were occupied by people peering into their computer screens. The clicks of keyboard keys were punctuated by the occasional footsteps moving around to brainstorm or collaborate with colleagues in their cubicles. Most employees went about their tasks without looking at the person seated on either side of their workstation. Meenakshi was one of them.
The thirty-one-year-old marketing manager in a leading eCommerce company in India sat straight in her seat, her eyes on the screen, her fingers punching furiously into the keys. She was in a flow and wanted to finish the report while the thoughts and words were coming effortlessly into her mind.
Natu-Natu. The mellifluous ringtone interrupted her thoughts. She frowned at her mobile phone with half a mind to keep it ringing until she noticed the caller’s name on the screen, making her pick up the phone immediately.
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