A story of love, loss and second chances by Nikita Singh, releasing this Valentine’s Day.
Are you taking care of the calcium needs of your child ?
I was always a fiercely independent and hardheaded woman. But being pregnant changed all that in unexpected ways, teaching me so much.
We are always afraid of being vulnerable, of needing people. I have grown up fearing the same! As a result I grew up into someone who took pride in being that independent working woman without a care in the world and without needing anyone to support me.
But perspectives change and so did mine. I have realized that needing human beings is natural and healthy. It is not a sign of weakness but a sign of being human. You might wonder what brought about this drastic change? Well, pregnancy did. I am two months pregnant today and as I write this I feel like I have learnt a decade’s worth of lessons of wisdom in these two months.
Being pregnant brought out in me the biggest fear of ‘needing people’ but I realized we have been taught all wrong about dependency. Being able to fend for yourself is a great thing but emotionally shunning support and human relations is an evil. In the prime of life or mostly throughout life, we all live in the illusion that we are independent, but at the end of the day a humane exchange, a humane existence is what gives meaning to life.
Blame the hormones I might sound emotional, but here are some pearls of wisdom that my pregnancy has gifted me.
When we are young we take pride in living alone. We think it is cool to be on our own and hate every family function/gathering/people. The fact is, it is these family functions and crazy family members that keep us grounded.
When the news of my pregnancy spread like wild fire amongst the crazy and not-so-crazy family members I wondered in surprise – “What would I have done without them?”
Genuine congratulatory calls and wishes, tips and advises poured in. All relatives called with those age-old advices that doctors do not bother to prescribe. For example: When you make an SOS at midnight you can be sure to get a tip like – ‘Have mango with salt.’ It feels unbelievably blessed to find someone who would answer your midnight call and hear you out.
Or for instance those times when the doctor gives you too much knowledge and you are concerned about so many things. Your mother, granny or a mami reasons out about how they have given birth to n number of children without doing a single scan or doctor’s visit.
Nothing compares to these little exchanges. The way it boosts your morale and confidence is amazing! The best part is our baby is already the upcoming hero/ heroine in our family drama!
We as a human being and more so a hormonal woman need these things to make our life beautiful. Nothing like the warmth of a “take care”, or “How are you feeling today?”, or “Do I need to get you anything?” Nothing can surpass the feeling of content that these questions from loving family members evoke.
We might have all that money can buy but “love is all we need.” Bring on all the cliches on love and I will say that all of them are true.
Pregnancy has taught me in its own way that love is all there is. Full stop. Nothing can give you more strength, courage, hope and happiness than a loving presence. I have very often laughed at people who become emotionally overwhelmed about little things. Mushy, cry baby, there are the kind of names that I used to call them. But the other day, when I heard about a distant relative cry tears of joy listening about our experiences as ‘soon-to-be’ parents I realized the beauty of feeling emotions.
Feeling something strongly is not a sign of weakness. It is only a sign of immense love which only the cleanest of hearts and the strongest of relations can feel for you. Value these people.
When you have reached your vulnerable most you realize that you have no end to the strength that lies inside of you. You are indomitable.
I have always believed that we are a spark of divinity. Being pregnant made me feel ever so strongly about my divinity. When you see creation happening inside your body you feel like you have been touched by the divine. This makes you realize that you are infallible, indomitable.
All other feelings of negativity are just that – Feelings. The truth is – you are indomitable.
I have expected pregnancy to be everything but a learning experience. But, as I have found out, it is an inner journey. I have always been that woman who liked her money, loved her independence. Concepts like marriage and children seemed an alien thing. It never was a part of my dictionary.
But now, that I am here and I see the other side of being a woman I realize how incomplete as a human I would have been without this experience.
A Social Media Content Writer by profession. A writer by heart. A genuine foodie. Simple
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