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Only when one is truly happy from within, can they spread joy to others. A thoughtful post for today's woman.
Only when one is truly happy from within, can they spread joy to others. A thoughtful post for today’s woman.
Haven’t we heard this time and again – and it resonates so well with me. I could imagine a situation where there is something making me feel low, don’t think I could do a good job of spreading cheer around me. Of course we all face problems in life – work related stress and issues, financial ones, a tiff with a dear one.
We cannot expect a fairy tale life where everything is picture perfect and happily ever after is only a myth. No, this is a part of life and it would be foolish to expect a problem free life.
Now let’s digress a bit. Being a woman how many of us take time to think about ourselves, our dreams, passion, interests? Haven’t we always been conditioned that the role of a woman is to keep her family happy first, cook for them, take care of her kids. Only such a selfless woman is the epitome of womanhood, the Adarsh Nari.
Once we become moms, the responsibility of raising our kids, nurturing them, tending to them in sickness and so much more takes up most of our time. To that, add the household chores, attending to other family members needs , and if you are working then 10-12 hours a day are anyway spent at the workplace. So when do we get time to indulge in things we like?
Do we ever think of it at all or are we so caught up in the daily grind that we just overlook it?
Coming to the question of how we perceive ourselves, this is again an area where we are always pulling a face or frowning on catching glimpse of ourselves in the mirror. Ouch that fat in the tummy, the stretch marks, does that sound familiar?
Motherhood alters life and it comes with a lot of physical changes too. Expecting to look like that 22 year old just fresh from college is indeed stupid. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying use motherhood as an excuse to feast on what you like, get complacent about your body. Absolutely not. We do need to watch out what we eat, try and exercise, if not at the gym then at least by alternative means like using the stairs instead of elevator, try mopping the floor? That works wonders!
Personally I was never a health or fitness freak. When I got pregnant I would often worry if I would fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes. I would stare at the rows of one piece dresses, skirts and high heels and sigh “I cannot imagine giving away all of this lovely stuff”.
Luckily I did not put on on too much weight during my pregnancy and was back to my usual weight in a few months. So luckily most of my clothes do fit me and I I am more than happy to buy new ones for those that I discarded. After all when it comes to shopping, the more, the merrier.
What I could not get rid of though is the stretch marks – when I used to look at them I would cringe. But one day I just thought, “well the clothes I wear conceal them anyways and I do not see myself in a bikini ever so how does it matter?”
From that day when I look at them there is no frown. They are the signs of my body that carried my beautiful Angel and that’s how I look at them.
I recall I was 2 kgs short of my ideal weight and it used to drive me crazy. I switched to sugar free, used the stairs even at the risk of tripping in my high heels, watched my diet closely and tried to avoid fried foods, chocolates but nothing worked. The scale refused to budge.
Then one day I stopped fretting about it, I simply let it be and when I checked my weight casually one day I was back to my ideal weight. I realised that over-analysing and over-thinking about something only causes harm. As mommies it’s important to take care of our body, but it’s equally important to love and nurture it. It’s important to dress well, stay well groomed and if you like make up, go for it. Please don’t stop yourself saying that, “Oh I am a Mom who will look at me?” The utmost damage you would do is to yourself.
Only when you truly love yourself, invest time in yourself, feed your dreams, water the sapling of your desires and tend to it lovingly, can you raise a happy family. Respecting and loving yourself is the first step in setting an example before your daughter that as a woman learn to place yourself first and a lesson to your son that don’t take a woman for granted. She is worth a lot.
Don’t mistake this for narcissism, If being one’s favourite as Kareena Kapoor aptly put it in ‘Jab We Met’, is being proud, selfish or a narcissist, then it’s a tag we should take on with no inhibitions.
So woman, stay beautiful, stay happy, stay strong – you are worth much more than you think. Time to raise the bar comrade.
Published here earlier.
Image source: silhouette mother and child by Shutterstock.
An avid reader, a shopaholic, head over heels in love with my little bundle of joy" Angel" ,God's most precious gift bestowed upon me, not so long ago.Professionally I am a Chartered Accountant read more...
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Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
While boys are taught to naturally own the space they enter, girls are taught to give up, to accommodate, to adjust since "it is their primary responsibility to keep families and relations together."
Yesterday, I was watching these 4 young girls around 16 – 17 years old play badminton. They were having fun, goofing around with all 4 of them equally involved in the game.
In some time two of their male friends joined them, and as part of round robin, the 2 boys replaced two of the girls. All good.
As the play continued, I started noticing a change in the way the game was being played. The shuttle was played most of the times between the two boys and there was a sense of competition and aggression brought in. The other 2 girls playing soon starting losing interest in the game as they hardly got any game time. Even if the shuttle came towards them, the boy in their team would move and play that shot. They soon moved to the sidelines as the boys continued to play.
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