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Why is it that everyone supposes that now that I am married, I must pop out a baby? My family planning should be my private affair!
Ever since I got married, “Any/When’s the good news?” has become a FAQ.
Seriously, why do people have so much of interest in other people’s family planning? As if relatives were not enough, leg-pulling friends and random people have hopped onto the bandwagon as well. Sometimes I wonder if the sole purpose of getting married is to be become a licensed child-producing machine.
In my opinion, whether to or when to have a child is a very private matter. But unfortunately, it is the most interesting topic for all the Aunties I encounter. How irritating is that when you meet some random Aunty for the first time and she asks in a chirpy voice, “So when are you giving the good news? Are you planning or have you not thought about it at all?”
My silent voice says, “Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh!” but outwardly I usually say, “Not planning now.” But of late I am giving different responses. I flash my best smile and say, “No comments!” or “I can give you good news right away but depends what kind of good news you want to hear!” And sometimes I respond in an astonished tone, “Good news? What good news?”
Sometimes such an Aunty (sometimes an Uncle too!) would point to a child and say, “You should also bring a tiny one like this.” And my silent voice says, “Yeah, next time I shall bring a random child along. After all, I just need to ‘bring’ a child”. Aunties-in-law say, “We want a little one to play with. You just give birth, we will look after the baby.” This is, of course, my cue to roll my eyes!
Then there are the young and new mothers. They would huff and puff with their crying bundles, share their owes and then ask the FAQ with a sweet smile. My silent voice then, “Oh! They are just jealous that I am not miserable with crying babies.” Of late, my friends (yes, the guys too) have started to trot out the FAQ.
So what’s the good news? The good news is that summer is here. The good news is that I took a vacation. The good news is that I am doing well professionally. The good news is that I am reading an awesome book. The good news is that I have been blessed with an amazing family. The good news is that I am happy today.
As far as the good news you want to hear is concerned, “NO COMMENTS!”
Published earlier here.
Image source: annoyed young woman by Shutterstock.
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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