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Society rarely expects married women to make anything of their careers; is that an opportunity to take more risks and do the things we love? So argues Natasha.
A couple of years, I met a lady who told me, “In our society, there are not much expectations from women (profession-wise). So why not take advantage of this?”
The lady in question is a corporate soft-skills trainer. Interestingly she had changed her career path quite a number of times. She is an qualified architect who didn’t find the profession interesting once she started working. So she enrolled herself for MBA and chose Finance as her discipline. Once again, when she started working in the Finance field, it failed to gratify her. And finally a few years later, she started her career as an soft-skills trainer.
I was seriously bemused by her career story. I asked her, “Were there no questions?” That’s when she told me with a smile that in our society, there are not much expectations from a woman when it comes to her career. So she took this fact in her stride and explored the various options and her interests, until she found her true calling.
In our paternalistic households, it is true that women do not have the pressure to earn, unless there is no earning male in the house. Yes, we are educated and urged to become someone but that is primarily by our parents. Once we are married, most in-laws hardly bother whether we are working or not as long as we are managing our household responsibilities as well. Teaching is still considered to be the best profession for us as it gives us sufficient time to cook and clean, and raise our children. Jobs are considered to be an activity to pass our time and earn some pocket money.
I have seen many, many women give up their careers after getting married or having kids. Either she manages both her career and home or gives up one. And of course we are conditioned congenially to choose home over career. After all, what kind of a woman chooses career over family; the worst kind, isn’t it?
All the married women out there, honestly think, why are you working? We work to be financially independent (to be able to shop without being taunted!), to be our parents’ pride and justify their sacrifices, to be someone, to have a say in matters, to support the family and mostly for our self-esteem. And when we earn, we feel powerful, don’t we? May be that’s why my mother always said, “First become financially independent, then you can do whatever you want.”
Anyways, what I was actually talking about is that since nobody expects us to earn millions or to be featured on the covers of the leading business magazines, we can try to do what gives us happiness. A dear friend of mine after studying history, mass communication and working in media houses, discovered that her true passion lie in baking. And I am so proud of her yummy creations and the fact that she finally found the conviction to turn her passion into profession. There is another friend who gave up her job to start her own online kids’ channel. Cool, isn’t it! Then there is a colleague’s sister who is a qualified physiotherapist but had to give up her career for the time-being to raise her son. She loves to cook and recently started taking orders from her friends to make sweets.
May be, someday, I too shall be able to make out a profession of the things that I love doing. May be I shall get paid to read books! The point is when our passion becomes our profession, we cannot fail (this was quoted by a young colleague of mine). This is true for men and women alike. But I think when it comes to career, it is much easier for us women to take risks rather than the designated bread-earners of the family. What say ladies?
First published at author’s blog
Top image is a still from the movie Tumhari Sulu
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Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
While boys are taught to naturally own the space they enter, girls are taught to give up, to accommodate, to adjust since "it is their primary responsibility to keep families and relations together."
Yesterday, I was watching these 4 young girls around 16 – 17 years old play badminton. They were having fun, goofing around with all 4 of them equally involved in the game.
In some time two of their male friends joined them, and as part of round robin, the 2 boys replaced two of the girls. All good.
As the play continued, I started noticing a change in the way the game was being played. The shuttle was played most of the times between the two boys and there was a sense of competition and aggression brought in. The other 2 girls playing soon starting losing interest in the game as they hardly got any game time. Even if the shuttle came towards them, the boy in their team would move and play that shot. They soon moved to the sidelines as the boys continued to play.
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