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Do Married Women Need To ‘Look Married’?

Posted: December 20, 2018

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The author wonders why do women need to ‘look married’ at all and why they need the ‘sindoor’, ‘mangalsutra’ as a validation for being married.

They – “You are married!”
Me – “Yeah…..”
They – “But you don’t look married at all!!”

I get this a lot- From colleagues, acquaintances, salon staff to random people I meet. Many of my office colleagues assumed that I am single and are surprised when I mention my husband or in-laws in my casual talks. When I was already working for a couple of years, many would ask me if I was studying.

Not to brag, but I have been even looked at as a prospective bride in other people’s weddings a couple of times. They didn’t even notice the red vermilion on my forehead. And once it was at my own brothers-in-law’s wedding! And yes, that’s the reason why aunties and sisters attend weddings, to check out prospective daughter-in-laws for their families.

My husband breathes mock fumes when I report such stories and remarks playfully that I should go out of the house all dolled up in fistful of sindoor (vermilion) , dangling mangalsutra (a black beaded necklace which married North Indian women typically wear) and jingling bangles.

And it makes me wonder what does looking married means anyway. How does a woman look married?

Is it wearing traditional attire?
Or applying a dollop of sindoor on her middle hair parting?
Or by announcing her entry with jingling of bangles and anklets?
Or by not taking care of her looks and body?
Or by opening her mouth only to blabber about cooking, housekeeping, husband and children?
Or by appearing haggard at all times?

And why does a married woman need to look married at all?

Meanwhile,

They – “But you don’t look married at all!!!!”
Me – “Thank you. I would take that as a compliment.” (With a wide grin!)

May be it’s just my “look younger” genes (Thank you Ma and Pa!).

Image Source: Pexels

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