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There is a huge importance of female bonding on a woman’s life. Girlfriends can be your life saver and your best phycologist.
As I am writing this, the left side of my neck and hands are almost numb. I had a sprain and it is hurting like hell. I took the pain killers, but then decided to call my friend who is a doctor. This was our conversation.
D(My friend) : It’s just a spasm Paro. Take these medicines you will be good. See me on Saturday, I will see if you need physiotherapy.
Me: Will I die?
D: Are you stupid? It’s a sprain.
Me: D, oh, do you think I am suffering a paralysis?
D: Idiot, it’s a sprain. You will be fine.
Me: Okay, now tell me what happened to that guy, you were supposed to meet.
D: He turned to be a fake.
Me: Okay, talk about that other guy who called you.
Finally after an hour of conversation and I coming to the conclusion, that the other guy is truly awesome whom she should meet and figure out, I kept down the phone.
After sharing our lives, I feel better. I smiled and could actually afford to sit and write this. That’s what girlfriends do, they bring us back from the dead, literally.
Ofcourse, I have great male friends too and I truly love them for who they are. But it’s not what, it is with my girls. I do share a deep connect, with my male friends too. A connect that has span over the years, but with the girls, the connect is different. It feels like home.
Men give solution, they forget many small things, but girlfriends advice. When you talk of your heartbreak these girlfriends listen for hours and days and will come up with something soothing, atleast for the moment. Men ask you to move on, women let us cry. Though the intention and love might just be the same. Women always let you process, men on other hand just focus on the solution.
If you are a woman, and have her gang of girls, you do not need a psychologist ever. Your girls will help you de-stress. All you need is a long conversation. And most importantly our physiology is so same. Mention periods, cramps, pregnancy or labor there will always be a woman who will nod and respond. May be female bonding is so important because of the way we respond.
It’s my personal experience. When someone lost her husband, Dad would say, how she would manage the household, Mom would ask, how she would cope with the loss. May be that is the most important thing, what makes our girls in our lives so important.
We can talk about our intimate details to our girls and they will remember them and help you restructure your life later. Men, on the other hand, are bad with details. I wonder if they discuss something so intimate with their boys.
Long back, when I was in love I thought all I would ever need was this. But the more I have grown as a human being, the more I have realized that to be fully grown, I will always need my girls. There is nothing more relaxing than talking to your girls for an hour. Women support, heal, advice and nudge your inner self. You get that emotional fill, which will help you function better in your other relationships.
Have you seen mothers who drop and pick their kids to and from school bond? They do, not because they lack anything, they do because there is another woman, who will get what she is saying. That’s the beauty of women friendship. We let the other woman rant, rave and cry till she is fine. Men can hug, protect and love still they will stick to the solution. And most of the times, we know the solution, we just need someone who will understand what’s going within and tell us, it’s okay.
That’s what girlfriends are for. They make us feel okay, even when we go crazy. To function to the optimum, a woman will always need her girls, to support her, advice her and most importantly understand, where she is coming from.
If you are a girl, you will always need your girls around. If you have them, like I do, don’t ever lose them. These girls are lifesavers. I assure you that.
Cover image via Shutterstock
Proud Indian. Senior Writer at Women's Web. Columnist. Book Reviewer. Street Theatre - Aatish. Dreamer.
This is so true. A problem with the patriarchy is that women are socialized to view other women as enemies. Think saas-bahu, sisters-in-law, some women who call other groups sluts, they in turn look down on other women as behenjis and so on. I’m not saying men don’t have their own rivalries but they are [usually] in a position of power [by virtue of having a p*nis] so the dynamic is not the same.
It particularly pains me when I hear young girls (teens and those in college) proudly proclaim that their close friends are all guys. There’s nothing wrong in that but you may be missing out on a great support network if you automatically dismiss other women as ‘silly’ or ‘boring’. You can talk to your boys about your hobbies but they cannot help you through menstrual problems, hormone cycles, pregnancy etc [in an ideal world they would be able to help because their sisters, mothers, wives have gone through this but it’s not an ideal world is it?]
I have my guy friends, we share most things but they would most likely be horrified if I started talking about periods in general, let alone my issues! I doubt they even discuss it with their own wives frankly. I’ve seen their reactions when I used to discuss my fears regarding an arranged marriage, they couldn’t identify with me at all. They would try to give me solutions – find yourself a boyfriend, ask your parents to find better proposals etc but they could not empathize. Just remember, other women are your friends and your strength. United we stand since divided we already fell.
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