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When you trust someone with your heart, you give them the power to hurt you. How can you be sure you stay safe?
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
I work as a life coach/healer. And I have worked with more than 1000 women. Most come with relationships issues.
I am writing this with my diverse experience of everyday interactions with women, and l wanted to share these learnings with my sisters here. I am not saying these are the sure shot ways we must follow, but we can take measures for less damage in life. Because healing takes years sometimes.
Read this sister, specially the younger ones. Also everyone here.
1) If he is talking to you everyday on text and makes no effort to meet and call you. Maybe he is talking to many others. He is testing his waters. Don’t take only texting very seriously.
2) If you have to meet him at his convenience at his convenient place, in all probability you are his convenience. Men swim oceans and climb mountains to be with someone they really want to be.
3) When someone ghosts you, you can run wild wanting a closure. The GHOSTING is the closure. He did not want you enough.
4) Men INVEST on what they want to. If you think he is NOT invested in you. He probably isn’t. And that’s okay. You will find someone else who will.
5) If he only calls after 12 am every night, it’s a booty call. (Google booty call, if you don’t know)
6) If you have to explain for hours to a man how to treat you and why you are worthy of the relationship, chances are: He is not into you.
7) The worst thing you can do is make your man your project. You are setting yourself up for failure.
8) When he says he does not want you or he isn’t sure of you- Trust him.
9) Do not make red flags look like a bouquet.
10) If he asks for money on the 15th day of knowing you. He just wants that. Do not take a loan for a man you aren’t married to.
11) If he isolates you from your friends and close ones- you are vulnerable to abuse. I have worked with many women who suffered abuse. The first thing the man does is to isolate her from safety. It’s a pattern. Love does not make taking away of everyone you love.
12) If you think you always attract men who are disrespectful or emotionally unavailable, maybe it’s time to check how you feel about yourself. Take a few months off dating. Google self love. YouTube affirmations. The Internet has a lot of resources. You will change. So will the people you will meet next.
13) Do not be kind to unkind behaviour. If they hurt you all the time, you only teach them, it’s okay to treat you bad.
14) NO matter what your past is, no matter where you come from. No one has any right to disrespect you. Respect is the basic thing you deserve.
15) You are the prize. Always remember that.
16) Stay grounded. Do your prayers, meditations, job, study and everything even if you are madly in love or want someone badly. A grounded woman is hard to be shaken.
17) It’s okay to be single, until you find the right one.
18) The last one, I personally follow. High standards keep you away from low value experiences. Chin up. Standards high. Self love growing. That’s you sister.
I hope this helps. These might not stop you from heartache or disappointments but this will save you from long term damage.
Proud Indian. Senior Writer at Women's Web. Columnist. Book Reviewer. Street Theatre - Aatish. Dreamer. Workaholic. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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