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Ja Simran Ja, Jee Le Apni Zindagi, said Bauji as he let go of her hand. Did Simran really live a good life with Raj? Here's where you find out.
Hi, I am Simran from DDLJ. I was 21 when I married Raj- the Raj Malhotra. And I am sure, you are excited to know what happened once we both boarded the train. Who can forget me running to hold Raj’s hand in the moving train? I am 45 now. And my husband is 46.
Once married, Raj and I flew back to London after a week in India. Bauji and Mom were there at our wedding. I had so many emotions running within me, but before I could process everything I was on the flight to London.
The first year of our marriage we were living out of the suitcase. We only travelled. New countries. Food. Lying under the sky. Running on beaches. Laughing till dawn. It was a dream. This was the first time, I felt free.
At home, we had lived under Bauji and everything had to adhere to his rules. This was the first time, I wore and ate as I felt.
After a year as the euphoria settled down, Raj started to go to work. I started my Masters in public policy from London University.
When I started living with Raj and Dad (played by Anupam Kher), I realized how different they were from where I come from. But old habits die hard. So, if I had to go for an extra class or to run an errand, I would take permission from Raj and Dad. They laughed. I was told I need not take permission, just letting them know where I was, was enough.
I could attend a classmate’s birthday without worrying about getting late. I could talk to a male friend. At home, I remember how I avoided conversations about or with men or even a simple party because Bauji would get angry. It’s nice to come back to a home where no one was angry.
I love my in-laws’ place more; may be. When I joined a job at the Mayor’s office, it was okay to have my colleagues come over for a dinner, males included. I felt trusted. I felt free. I fell in love with my husband more. Love is always a verb. It’s action.
I was never pressurized to have kids. But after a few years, I gave birth to twin daughters. We named them Riya and Tia. And now both of them are 18. Riya went to New Zealand to do her college as she wanted to explore a new country. Tia studies here as she plays football for country clubs.
I love their relationships with Raj and Dad. In my home, I and my sister would try to be perfect about everything once Bauji would get back from work. These two girls would be doing whatever they were. Their father would hug them and Tia would often get a foot massage from Dad or Grand Dad as her feet would hurt from playing.
Bauji loved us, I know. But I felt we being women were more his stark responsibilities. Here I felt loved. Sometimes love needs to be spoken. Love is always so gentle. Each time I see my daughters with their father, I realize it.
Both my daughters are confident, well spoken girls. In our house we know we have given them good values, therefore we do not police them. And we do not bash western culture. We stick to our roots as we blend to the society. It’s beautiful.
As we are aging and now parents too, I tell Raj how he was waving the bra on my face when we first met and how at first I felt unsafe. He acknowledges it and admits that the way he thought then, liking a woman meant getting physically close no matter what. Raj has evolved from the 22 year old he was. I am glad he has.
My sister Chutki got married to an Indian boy who lives and works in New Jersey. She is a mother to a son, and a homemaker.
My parents sold off everything here and moved back to India. I have a very good relationship with them now. Also now I realize why my mother wanted me to elope with Raj when we were in Punjab. She wanted me to have everything she could not. It is strange how so many of us women’s freedom and happiness depends on the man they are associated it.
Raj and I are raising free daughters who are happy and have an agency to their happiness, no matter where they are.
Dad found love again and we asked him to marry. Everyone deserves love and companionship no matter at what age. We as his kids can’t fill the gap of a partner. He is a happier man now.
Ok, I have to go to office now. Raj is still sleeping. You know what, when I see him smiling over something mundane I still become 21 and fall in love with him all over again. His one smile and kiss can still make me want to elope with him, though in reality I am married to him.
I am so glad I married this man.
Proud Indian. Senior Writer at Women's Web. Columnist. Book Reviewer. Street Theatre - Aatish. Dreamer. Workaholic. read more...
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A feminist man sometimes seems like an oxymoron, but maybe there are some out there. How is it to be married to a feminist man?
How is it to be married to a feminist man?
This is a working list. Will keep adding to it.
Do you also have a feminist man at home? And if yes, what is it to be married to him? Do share.
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