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Boys get raped too. And mostly suffer is silence. Here is a gut-wrenching true account.
Boys get raped too. And mostly suffer in silence. Here is a gut-wrenching true account.
Trigger warning: This post contains graphic details of rape and sexual assault that may be triggering for survivors.
Rape of men is something we don’t recognise. When it comes to child abuse, 54 percent of Indian boys go through sexual abuse. In India, we do not have rape laws when it comes to men, unless it is sodomy. It’s high time, we recognise it and deal with it.
This post was posted by Humans of Bombay. It is a real life account of a man who was raped for 11 years as a child. As you read this heart breaking piece you will realize what sexual abuse does to a child. The child does not even know, what is happening and suffers in deep silence. It instil fear, guilt in a child and break its self image.
Read this gut-wrenching story and share it with someone. It might save a child, somewhere.
“My uncle was giving me a bath when I was 7 years old, and that’s when it first happened. He forced me to give him a blow job and proceeded to have anal sex with me, multiple times. At that point, I didn’t know what was happening to me, whether it was ok, whether it was normal. I got so used to it, I would enter his house and lie down on the bed, just wanting it to get over as soon as possible. At 12, I began to get gang-raped by his friends, and I would bleed but keep quite…because what if I wasn’t considered ‘man enough’ to not bear pain? My childhood went by having two worlds where I would not remember the rape until something triggered it off and then I would cry endlessly. I would not enter a male washroom because I was scared that I would be raped again…I grew up having no self esteem.
It was when I was 17 or 18 that I began to understand that what had been happening to me for so many years was wrong–so one day when he came to jump on me, I kicked him and said no. For the first time in 11 years, I said no to being raped. When I told my mother, she was in shock–she asked me why I hadn’t told her. I told her I had given her signs, that I had tried but she never picked up on it. She said, ‘I never knew such things could happen with boys’ and that was the time I realised that boys and men are the forgotten gender. We get abused, but we have no right to voice it because we’re supposed to be the protectors. The victims of ‘masculinity’ are men themselves. I have been bullied for many years for my sexual orientation as well, but when I told my story the same classmates who laughed at me became my biggest strength and helped me to cope with my childhood. A part of me believed that I’m gay because of the abuse I went through and it devastated me, but I know now that that isn’t true.
We tried to get some legal help but we realised that there’s no law against child sexual abuse for boys in the country. By the time I was 18, no laws applied to my case — so there was no justice. That’s when I decided that I would make the motto of my life to protect other children from sexual abuse.
So I’ve been through 11 years of hell but I don’t think the world is a bad place. I thank my bullies, because they got me here — where I have the opportunity to touch other’s lives. I believe that hate only destroys the hater, not the hated — so I don’t think I hate my uncle. To me, he doesn’t exist. In fact If I could, I would send a therapist to help him. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life waiting for him to suffer– I can never get those 11 years back, but I do have a lifetime ahead of me to protect the rights of children, women or the LGBT community and that’s the path I’ve proudly chosen.”
Cover photo via Humans of Bombay
Proud Indian. Senior Writer at Women's Web. Columnist. Book Reviewer. Street Theatre - Aatish. Dreamer. Workaholic. read more...
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If her MIL had accepted her with some affection, wouldn't they have built a mutually happier relationship by now?
The incident took place ten years ago.
Smita could visit her mother only in summers when her daughter had school holidays. Her daughter also enjoyed meeting her Nani, and both of them had done their reservations for a week. A month before their visit, her husband told her, “My mom is coming for 4-5 months!”
Smita shuddered. She knew the repercussions. She would have to hear sarcastic comments from her mother-in-law for visiting her mother. She may make these comments directly only a bit, but her servants would be flooded with the words, “How horrible she is! She leaves me and goes!”
Are we so swayed by star power and the 'entertainment' quotient of cinema that satisfies our carnal instincts that we choose to ignore our own subconscious mind which always knows what is right and what is wrong?
Trigger Warning: This has graphic descriptions of violence and may be triggering to survivors and victims of violence.
Do you remember your first exposure to an extremely violent act or the aftermath of a violent act?
I am pretty sure for most of us it would be through cinema. But I remember very vividly my first exposure to aftermath of an unbelievably grotesque violent act in real life. It was as a student at a Dental College and Hospital.
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