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Boys get raped too. And mostly suffer in silence. Here is a gut-wrenching true account.
Rape of men is something we don’t recognize. When it comes to child abuse, 54 % of Indian boys go through sexual abuse. In India, we do not have rape laws when it comes to men, unless it is sodomy. It’s high time, we recognize it and deal with it.
This post was posted by Humans of Bombay. It is a real life account of a man who was raped for 11 years as a child. As you read this heart breaking piece, you will realize what sexual abuse does to a child. The child does not even know, what is happening and suffers in deep silence. It instill fear, guilt in a child and break its self image.
Read this gut-wrenching story and share it with someone. It might save a child, somewhere.
“My uncle was giving me a bath when I was 7 years old, and that’s when it first happened. He forced me to give him a blow job and proceeded to have anal sex with me, multiple times. At that point, I didn’t know what was happening to me, whether it was ok, whether it was normal. I got so used to it, I would enter his house and lie down on the bed, just wanting it to get over as soon as possible. At 12, I began to get gang-raped by his friends, and I would bleed but keep quite…because what if I wasn’t considered ‘man enough’ to not bear pain? My childhood went by having two worlds where I would not remember the rape until something triggered it off and then I would cry endlessly. I would not enter a male washroom because I was scared that I would be raped again…I grew up having no self esteem.
It was when I was 17 or 18 that I began to understand that what had been happening to me for so many years was wrong–so one day when he came to jump on me, I kicked him and said no. For the first time in 11 years, I said no to being raped. When I told my mother, she was in shock–she asked me why I hadn’t told her. I told her I had given her signs, that I had tried but she never picked up on it. She said, ‘I never knew such things could happen with boys’ and that was the time I realised that boys and men are the forgotten gender. We get abused, but we have no right to voice it because we’re supposed to be the protectors. The victims of ‘masculinity’ are men themselves. I have been bullied for many years for my sexual orientation as well, but when I told my story the same classmates who laughed at me became my biggest strength and helped me to cope with my childhood. A part of me believed that I’m gay because of the abuse I went through and it devastated me, but I know now that that isn’t true.
We tried to get some legal help but we realised that there’s no law against child sexual abuse for boys in the country. By the time I was 18, no laws applied to my case — so there was no justice. That’s when I decided that I would make the motto of my life to protect other children from sexual abuse.
So I’ve been through 11 years of hell but I don’t think the world is a bad place. I thank my bullies, because they got me here — where I have the opportunity to touch other’s lives. I believe that hate only destroys the hater, not the hated — so I don’t think I hate my uncle. To me, he doesn’t exist. Infact If I could, I would send a therapist to help him. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life waiting for him to suffer– I can never get those 11 years back, but I do have a lifetime ahead of me to protect the rights of children, women or the LGBT community and that’s the path I’ve proudly chosen.”
Cover photo via Humans of Bombay
Proud Indian. Senior Writer at Women's Web. Columnist. Book Reviewer. Street Theatre - Aatish. Dreamer.
I saw his story on ‘Satyamev Jayate’ some years back. His story is heartrending. While I agree he can’t spend the rest of his life hating the man, it is equally and more important to book the culprit for such a heinous crime. The time this boy was raped as a minor does account for that man’s crime. And, this boy may not be the only one; what if he and his gang have done the same to some other children. If no law applies to his case, then the culprit’s pictures should be made public so the world can see what a horrible creature he is, so he can be ostracized socially and professionally.
Shocked to read your story. Kids should share everything with their parents. I wish I were your mom and sensed the tragedy long long before and protected you. I wonder why moms can’t read the expression of kids’ face! Hats off to your courage.
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