Child Abuse Vigilance: Why We Need To Stay Alert

There are four main categories of child abuse: neglect, physical abuse, psychological or emotional abuse, and sexual abuse. A child could be subjected to more than one of these.

As adults, it takes a long time to get past the doubts and nail something down as abuse. It is definitely more difficult for a child (a minor; that is anyone under the age of eighteen). When a child does realize it is abuse, he/she may muster the courage to talk to someone about it – in most cases, this is a parent. What if the child has approached his/her parent(s), and been dismissed? This could happen if the parents are not aware, or do not believe the child. It could also happen in the following scenarios –

1. – What if the abuser is a close family member – grandparent, parent, or sibling?
2. – What if there is domestic violence and the non-abusive partner has no voice?
3. – What if one parent has a personality disorder and the other parent is abusive?
4. – What if a child is neglected or emotionally abused by one parent, and sexually by another?
5. – What about a child who does not have parents, and abused by a caregiver?

First the bad news – These circumstances are not as remote as one would think. It could even be happening in your neighbourhood. The good news is you and I maybe able do something about it.

When is intervention warranted?

A child in any of the above scenarios needs help. How would you know?

1. – Watch out for unkempt appearance, uncut nails – these could be indicators of neglect and other forms of abuse.
2. – Does the child seem to seek affection and look for a parent figure?
3. – What a child says, or does not say, can reveal a lot. Pay attention.
4. – Has the child spoken of nightmares?
5. – A child’s stories and artwork can speak volumes.
6. – Has the family been moving a lot?
7. – Ask about cuts, bruises, broken spectacles. Do the explanations ring true?

Who can help?

1. – Teachers at school
2. – Those who conduct after-school activities
3. – Volunteers at NGOs
4. – Family, friends, neighbours – anyone who interacts with a child in his/her daily life can help

How can I help?

1. – Give the child the attention and affection he/she is seeking.
2. – Listen, respond, talk, build an atmosphere of trust.
3. – Tell him/her what you would tell your own child about inappropriate touching and consent. Take it slow.
4. – Let the child know you are there should he/she want to talk.
5. – Whether or not you speak to the child’s parents or anyone else, you can make the child feel loved and valued. Who knows, it may just give him/her the strength to say NO!

At the same time, be very careful not to do anything that could leave you open to allegations.

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We need to bear in mind that not all children are as fortunate as our own.

If you would like to help, be watchful. Your love could save a child from growing into an adult with low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, personality disorders… and may even be what stops him/her from turning into an abuser.

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