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Street harassment of women in India takes many forms including the unpleasant leering at women on the roads considered 'just looking'.
Street harassment of women in India takes many forms including the unpleasant leering at women on the roads considered ‘just looking’.
It has happened to me ever since I can remember. It has happened to me, almost everywhere; men and boys looking at me when I stand at the bus stop, when I go to buy vegetables, or when I go for walks.They are forever looking.
Girls and women in our country gradually get accustomed to this ‘Just looking’ thing, hardly complaining and mostly ignoring it. I have seen some bravehearts in public places, question the culprit only to be told, “You think you are very beautiful? Who’s looking at you?” Thus cleverly turning the tables.
In cities like Delhi, it is very common to find men loitering around bus stops during peak hours, just sitting on the benches with nowhere to go and ogling women of all ages and sizes.
It is also very common for bikers and at times men with cars, to halt near a girl’s college and ogle, just like that!
I now live in Pune where most women including me, wear a scarf over our faces, to cheat the harsh sun rays and pollution. But still, I find men staring. I am many a time tempted to ask, “What the hell can you see?”
This ‘Just Looking’ thing has become such a casual thing, that nobody reacts to it any more; may be because looking is largely perceived as being harmless. “He didn’t touch you. He didn’t say anything; so why complain?” This is the advice often given.
But when this ‘Just Looking’ becomes ‘Lust Looking’, it is no more harmless. It can frighten even the most hard skinned girl, when in broad day light and amidst a crowd, somebody scans the girl and her anatomy, with the most lecherous look in his eyes.
It can give you the shivers, when you catch someone staring at you and you stare back to deter him but he becomes even more daring.
When I walk in public places (‘decently’ dressed) and I get scanned, I feel disgusted at the thought, that somebody is enjoying himself at the expense of my dignity. It disgusts me to think that I am being looked at, as a showpiece in some shop.
At those times, I really and strongly feel like looking at him in the eyes and saying,”I don’t get out of my house, so that you can ogle me. I don’t dress so that you can fantasise.”
Where even rapes go unnoticed, how can I be so dumb to even think that this ‘just looking’ thing will move anybody!
But as most crimes are usually planned and hardly spontaneous, isn’t it possible that looking is the first step the perpetrator takes? Why is only physical violation considered rape, when everyday, so many women are stripped of their dignity by those lustful eyes in public places? If looking at fellow human beings is such a normal thing, then why don’t we see women looking at men?
Do not Beauty and Lust, both lie in the eyes of the beholder?
First published at LinkedIN
Top image credit Ahmed Mahin Fayaz (Used under a CC license)
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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