The Working Mother’s Career Continuum: Focus. Flow. Flex

Posted: May 11, 2014

On this Mother’s Day, take a look at the three foundational pillars of a working mother’s career. And celebrate the choices and work of all mothers!

Let me start this post with the wishes. Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mother and all the mothers who made a difference in your life.

Mothers are indeed the reason you and I exist, and most often, the reason why we are what we are today and possibly/probably the best thing that happened in our lives (If you don’t believe me, ask your mother someone who lost their mother!)!

Take a moment to say THANK YOU for the fact that you have your mother in your life.

Ever since I became a mother, I have a new found respect and admiration for any every working mother.

No matter where she works

No matter what her work entails

No matter where she lives

No matter what her circumstance is

She is a STAR!

Not for a day.

Not for Mother’s day.

But for every single day!

Let me start with the facts | It is tough… really tough to be a working mother. It tests you at every level in very many ways almost every single day, and you have to find a way to pass. You can fail for a day or two, but then you will to get up, move forward and find a way to pass. No grace marks really!

First, there is sheer physical exhaustion in getting through each day at work and at home. Then there is mental stress (again both at work and at home). Following closely are the the emotional pangs (of guilt, fears, anxieties, worries, concerns about your role as a mother and your children). Next are the expectations of the family, spouse, work, the education system (both from the children and from the parents) and last but not least, is the collective impact of the society we live in (in terms of continuous judgment, expectations, day-to-day operational issues, constraints, dependencies, etc.).

Every single day is a tight-rope balancing act. You fumble a little, lose focus, lose balance and the entire equilibrium is disturbed.

Every single day is a tight-rope balancing act. You fumble a little, lose focus, lose balance and the entire equilibrium is disturbed. And yet, as working mothers you have to find a way to make it all fall-in-line.

What working mothers need for a fair share of success

Now first is the much-debated decision of ‘To Work or Not’ after you become a mother. There is no right or wrong. It is a personal choice and depends on your personal context and circumstances. Some mothers find that full-time-motherhood is their calling and give up everything else. Some are forced to become full-time-mothers by family pressures. Some mothers have to quit for lack of any alternative or support systems. Some mothers have to work due to financial commitments and liabilities/to put food on the table/marital discord. Some mothers find alternate career choices (not corporate careers) and make it work because they are passionate about something/because full-time-motherhood is not their cup of tea. And some mothers find their place in the corporate world. There is really no-one-size that fits all and yet, it has to fit RIGHT for YOU!

A lot of times I am asked for my views on what it takes to be a working mother. In this post, I’m sharing my opinion based on my personal experiences in a corporate career, and what I’ve seen in other working mothers.

As a working mother, if you are serious about your career and want a fair share of success, your career continuum should have three foundational pillars.

1. Focus

As a mother, to have a career, you have to be focused.

As a mother, to have a fair chance at career success, you have to be super-focused.

The one must have mantra for every working mother is FOCUS. Without focus, you will really not be able to survive or thrive at work.

Following are the things which you should be focused about:
Your work tasks for the day – Know what you should get done for the day, plan for it and just do it.
Your career objectives for the year – Ensure you define/know them and work towards achieving them. You will only go so far without knowledge/clarity on your career objectives.

Your career goals for the long-term (say 3/5 /10 years) – Be clear (somewhat) on where you are headed in the long term. If you have a view on the end, chances are you will reach there. If you don’t, chances are you will spend enough time in the journey without reaching anywhere. And if that is what you want, it is fine too. But make sure you acknowledge this to yourself.

If you have a view on the end, chances are you will reach there. If you don’t, chances are you will spend enough time in the journey without reaching anywhere. And if that is what you want, it is fine too. But make sure you acknowledge this to yourself.

2. Flow

As a mother, to have a career, you have to flow today.

As a mother, to have a long-term-career, you have to keep flowing today and tomorrow.

By flow, what I really mean is ‘career continuity’. I cannot emphasize how critical it is to be in touch with your work and to keep going no matter what. Sometimes you may be compelled to take a break/put on the brakes. Sometimes, you may have to choose ‘not-so-great’ options/career paths/alternatives, but in the long run, being in the ‘flow’ makes all the difference.

Why? One, you earn (whatever little, it does wonders to your own self-confidence and independence). Two, you learn. Three, the ‘gaps’ in your resume will not really go against you. Four, you stay in touch and enhance you knowledge, skills. Five, you are at the table, so, more visible than when you are within the confines of your home. Six, you have more opportunities to network and build professional relationships.

As a working mother, there will be times in your life when you have to take career breaks put a brake on your career. The issue for most mothers becomes that they don’t really decide on the duration of this and plan around it. Consequently, it gets harder to get back to active work. First, it is your own inertia to get back to work which is a huge impediment. Then there is the lack of ‘relevant’ knowledge and skills due to the time away from work. Lastly, there is the issue of lack of a commensurate compensation in lieu of the career breaks.

Following are the things which you should know about ‘Flow:

It is better to be in a state of flow than being stagnant for too long – especially if you have a corporate career / harbor entrepreneurial ambitions. If you flow, chances are better for you to move ahead, right?
Ensure that you are focused on ‘being in flow’ with respect to your work/career. This will be the most crucial with respect to career longevity and growth
While flow without focus (i.e. a definite end goal) is good in some career phases to give you career continuity and longevity, make sure you ‘time-box’ these phases.
While flow is important, once in a way make sure you pause – for career reflection, introspection, insights and course corrections. Being in a state of perpetual flow does not help either.

3. Flex

As a mother, to have a career, you have to make flex work today.

As a mother, to have a chance at success in your career, you have to make flex work almost every day.

No working mother ever managed without a little or a lot of flexibility. It is the only realistic way to manage the elusive work-life balance.

Following are the things which you should know about ‘Flex’:

‘Flex’ is great if you have ‘Focus’ and are in the ‘Flow’
There is no universal definition/agreement on what ‘flex’ working is. Make sure you know and understand what it means to you and to the people/organization you are working for with. The lesser the gap and mismatch of expectations, the better your chance at success
DO NOT abuse / misuse the ‘flex’ work option. It does more harm than good if you are caught on the wrong foot – both for your own career and the larger cause of ‘work flex’ options for other working women / mothers.

As I sign-off, my mantra for working mothers:

Be focused

Ensure you flow

Make “flex” work for you

What are your views of the career continuum of working mothers? Leave a comment to let me know.

Pic credit: CDN (Used under a Creative Commons license)