Anupama writes a letter to her 18-year old daughter. Read what she has to say.
According to several studies, an increasing number of Indian women are getting married later in life. Alas! What a tragedy! How can we allow such atrocious trends in a traditional, patriarchal society such as ours? Where is this country headed, I ask you? As dutiful Indian citizens, here are five reasons why it is absolutely imperative that we marry off our young girls as early as possible:
1. Indian girls should marry young before they have fully developed and blossomed into well-rounded and balanced individuals because then they would be the innocent and docile “good Indian girl” that every self-respecting man dreams about – the one who lowers her eyes in front of other men, never argues, trusts and accepts everything that her husband and in-laws say, never puts forth her unwanted opinions, places everybody’s needs before herself and adjusts to the whims and fancies of everyone in the household. In short, the younger they are, the easier it is, you know, to train them to be the epitome of virtue and righteousness.
2. Indian girls must marry young, if possible even before they can complete their studies. This will ensure that the horizons of their minds are not yet broadened and their world view will never be given a chance to expand. This is vital since it will help women focus on their domestic duties and not waste time concerning themselves with matters that are not a woman’s prerogative.
3. Indian girls must marry young because they should not be given any time to establish themselves in their careers. This will ensure that they shut up and put up with any atrocities such as dowry demands and domestic violence because they will be too afraid to walk out of abusive marriages as they do not have the financial security and economic independence that a promising career might offer. Lack of exposure to the outside world is good, you see; they will never gather the confidence and courage to go against the supreme institution of matrimony and will therefore never bring disgrace to the family by asking for a divorce. Afterall, one should never upset the apple cart, no?
4. Indian girls must marry young before they have had a chance to step out of their homes to travel and explore the world. This will ensure that they do not witness how women in other parts of the world live and therefore will not question the status quo to demand unnecessary rights such as freedom, respect and equality.
5. Indian girls must marry young because the younger they are, the lesser their chances of having interacted with the opposite sex. This in turn increases the chances that they are virgins and hence they will be pure, untouched and unadulterated. What’s more, they won’t be needing any creams to “feel like a virgin” – which must surely be one of the most important things in life. Plus, young girls are more frisky, flexible and nubile, which will of course please their husbands – not to mention, more fertile and one needn’t worry about the biological clock ticking away before a suitable heir is produced.
There! Now do you understand why we Indians must put an end to this utter nonsense about late marriages? Catch ’em young, I say!
Note: The writer has a strong belief in her writing skills and is hence confident that her snarky cynicism comes through clearly in this write-up. In case she is sadly mistaken about her writing prowess, she would like to state explicitly that this post is meant to be sarcastic and that neither she nor Women’s Web advocates early marriage, and are in fact strongly against it.
Pic credit: Visit Florida
Anne John plays with words for a living and would probably do the same even
Very well said! Marriage is, i beleive, the sham going on in our society.
Thank you for reading!
What a splendid article!!! All the reasons given are perfect. As per latest reports,40% of child marriages in the world happen in India.Even now, society brags about girls getting married young. A girl/woman is preferred only when she is beaten, broken and submissive. We still do not have strong role models in our television serials and cinema. We still put marriage as centerpiece..
Reminds me of a BBC article : It said , “Americans are obsessed with movie and rock stars, British are obsessed with football stars, Italians are obsessed with food, french are obsessed with fashion and Indians are obsessed with Marriage!!! “
Thank you for your comment!
I had to read this because I couldn’t believe Women’s Web would write an article on this. Now that I have read it, I can see exactly why you did. Oh yes, I agree with it all.
I’m glad you got it Rakhee! Seems like a few missed the point!
I too had the same opinion.. then realised it was an article being sarcastic regarding the system
good article !!
If Women are married young, they will be treated as a slave… Sorry to say this. I’m against these points.
Please understand the sarcasm here
Are you kidding me?!?!?! Do you not understand SARCASM?!?!?!?!?! Really! :O
Even if u marry late Indian women will still b treated as slave!
Very nicely written. And the writer needn’t worry ! The snarky cynicism is there all right! Good points.
Thanks Aloka! Seeing some of the comments, it doesn’t look like everyone got the sarcasm though!
really surprising. I cannot believe anyone would think otherwise! It’s a very nicely written piece!
Loved the article,and find it relevant to contemporary society…only one thing though,if a young girl and boy in their twenties decide to marry and live on their own,working and making a good living,and establishing themselves in life…only then would a marriage make sense…I have a young son and am looking forward to him settling early on in life,not so that I can harass my bahu,but so that he can be happy and settle down,instaed of going through several heartbreaks and breakups.
Thanks Subhashini! I understand your point. However, I would still want even consenting adults to marry later in life. Perhaps a few heartbreaks are good after all? The lows in life too teach us valuable lessons and make us stronger, right?
sorry no offence .. but why you have to take charge of all this… He must be grown up enough to take his life decisions as important as this (important for indian stereotype society).. let him live through the ups and downs and make up his mind rather pushing him into it, before he realises what you did to him.. infact he might find a soulmate early in his life and himself gets married early (you can’t deny the possibilities)
Sure, I am simply stating my preference. The ultimate decision of course is not mine.
wonderfuly written…my I have the author’s email id?my email id is obscured and my phone number is obscured in vasai,mumbai
Thank you Venus. I’m glad you liked the post.
ok,i shall contact you on your facebook page ,but it will go to your other folder,please check it.
ridiculous article ever… and this must be written by a man… who’s just interested in having sex with young woman.. who doesn’t believe women should study !!! they should marry young cos husband should feel like his wife is a virgin?? and what do u mean by young 13 or 14 ??? when women are innocent about sex?? and most of the in-laws never spend lakhs of money on their daughter-in laws!! have kids during college and dont concentrate on kids or studies.. they can never enjoy motherhood nor college days… NOT ONLY INDIANS WOMEN BUT ANY PERSON IRRESPECTIVE OF GENDER SHOULD NOT MARRY YOUNG!!!
please understand the sarcasm in this article..
When India is striving hard to stop child marriages I can’t believe that this kind of articles can come up… that too in this century… and doesn’t women’s web check what articles they are posting?? and I think this writer must belong to some other century when child marriages were the norm.. and I cant believe few women are appreciating this article.. 1. why should women be married when they are innocent and before they are balanced ?? and what the husband is going to train her?? is marriage some training school?? and why should she lower her eyes in front of every men?? n never argue and come on why to accept for everything in-laws say IN-LAWS ARE NOT GODS WOMEN SHOULD HAVE THEIR OWN OPINION ?? WOMEN SHOULD ALWAYS STAND FOR THEIR SELF , LOOK STRAIGHT AT MEN AND BE EQUAL TO THEM IN EVERY ASPECT… 2) Indian girls must marry young before they can complete their studies ?? I say india shuld have complusory education foe everyone.. and what if her husband deserts her or dies early?? how will she live or get a job without completing her studies?? woman’s prerogative.?? hey you women can do anything a man does!!! and if a women has a brain she should broaden it,, thats what brains is for to broaden ur knowledge !! 3)women should not develop careers to suffer abusive marriage?? so u mean women should suffer?? and not have any independance?? and divorce gives women freedom from abusive relationship!! 4) what do u mean by this 4th point ? women should be confined within the four walls of their home?? 5)and how can u prove that younger the women lesser the chance of having premartial sex?? GOD u have fetish for younger women.. GOD save your wife and daughters.. and all the women in your family.. this man(the one who wrote the article) is sick
Dear Shwetha,
Thank you for taking the time to write such a long comment! I appreciate your angst, but let me clarify a few points: Firstly, no I am not a man. Secondly, no I am not sick. Lastly, and most importantly, this article is a satire. Please read the note at the end. I hope this makes things a bit clearer?
Excellent clarification dear Anne. Your reader did not read it thoroughly. I would say you have written an excellent piece. I admire your presentation in a factual manner. Today’s woman is very intelligent and mature enough to decide as to when to marry. Every one both men and women have the right and freedom to choose when and who to marry at what age and stage. Time has changed and we should respect today’s youth. India’s future is in good hands.
hahahahahahaha are you serious. read the end note of the article. have you ever heard of sarcasm? or better yet, a joke??? hahaha you made my day, what a genius,
thanks on the behalf of the beautiful author, for NOT reading the article properly…your ignorance is kinda cute!!
I agree with all the author has said..I overheard a lady in a salon saying girls should be married young otherwise they become strong and will have difficulty in adjusting..such nonsense people think and have the audacity to say it in the 21st century as if they are imparting some wisdom!
I know! Some people are so totally unbelievable!
@shwetha patil.. I can’t believe wrote so much and read so less… Please go through article and even an innocent disclaimer too.. Patience and calm mind are virtues of women.. Let’s notdisgrace those virtues.. and miss writer.. Splendid write up.. A fan of your writing skill (no sarcasm I swear ;))
Thank you for the support Snigdha! Appreciate it 🙂
This article is really idiotic and full of stupidity leaving way to male dominism.
Really?!
Please… What is wrong with people like you? If at least you don’t have brains enough to UNDERSTAND the sarcasm, you must have eyes to READ the disclaimer…
Just a few days back I came across womensweb, while going through a few articles on feminism, and seeing this link, I was totally taken aback, I was checking if it was really in womensweb after all… Well written… it took a few lines for me to understand what its all about. 🙂
🙂
I am an adoptees from India. As an adoptee we go through many losses bio family, culture and country. Through the sadness of this loss. I have also gained a great sense of freedom as a women. Freedom to control and make decisions for myself. I have also learned that some women’s life are predetermined them once they are burn.
Born
Ha ha ha Loved it! Well written 🙂 The smile’s stuck on my face!
Yay! Keep smiling!
People dont have patience in life… that is the problem to all the hatred we all are going through…..
True!
i personally feel that the writeup is blown up… Most of the parents feel that the girl should be married at a younger age mainly because of security. The other factors is mostly related to parenting. To conceive and deliver a healthy child. With the increasing risk of miss carriage, the second child should also be given an option. The comment about being set in a career is a bit correct. This does not have anything to do with male dominance. Its mostly because its better for a mom to be at home or around a child for the first 2 years. This is mainly because the mother is the first teacher. Character, reactions and food needs to be managed by the mother. No dad can replace the mom.
Coming from a middle class family, I always wanted to marry a well educated woman with a job. With the rising prices and expenses, a double engine carriage is needed to push the family ahead.
Moreover, the Indian government has marriage acts and laws made specifically to ensure that no person is forcefully married. So rather than criticizing the male community, educate them
So are you saying that married women are safe in our country? I don’t think so. Having a decent education and a good career would go a long way in women gaining security.
A country with approx 50% female population… with 79% literacy for overall Indian women, more that 60% population of India below age of 30, and 60 seats occupied by women in a 545 seat parliament … Actions speak louder than words… please all literate women of indian put your worthless action into words and be the change
keep pointing fingers just like you were taught to… put your worthless wordsinto actions and be the change
Hi Ann,
It was the comments on this page which made me read this article. You have proved negativity is the best publicity:)
Clearing that your article is really good. A tight slap on the ‘macho’ so called society. You know what is the funny part.. men still believe that they run the Indian society.
Sadly it is not curbed to the rural areas. Even in the so called educated society it is happening. Our society feels that if they marry young producing kids will be easier. And however modern a family is or broadminded a husband is, a woman’s career always takes a back seat. It is only after the kids go to college, the woman think of starting a new life. A tad too late…
You are a good writer. Keep on writing…
Rubina
Thank you Rubina. Yes indeed that is the sad state of Indian women even today. Let’s hope that things will change for the better and let us be the agents of change.
A really well written article. But I guess some ppl totally got carried away by the title and never read the whole article through. Too bad
Thanks Jyothsna! I’m glad that you took the time to read it completely.
This reminds of a conversation I overheard at a railway station where one woman was telling the other that she’s going to get a 17 year old DIL for her son. By the time she can train her, the girl will be 18. The younger she is, the less ‘kit-kit’ (nagging/arguing/fighting for her rights – whichever way you want to put it) she will do. I guess wanting to co-exist as a free individual in a household is a crime. If you fight for basic human rights and not put up with shit, you’re a villain! I am surprised at people who quote age of conception, mother being the best teacher, character, food and such only from the mother. So convenient to get off the hook! And then we also want the mother to work and earn money. It’s all about our needs. Such hypocrites. Not just my mother, I have seen many other women have children later in life, work and bring up awesome, well-rounded, independent children who go on to be successful and confident, well-established people. Guess some people though, will never understand! Sad but, their loss.
And more importantly, how about letting the mother take those decisions for herself rather than her family (both birth, married and extended) taking them for her? But wait, for her to think in a balanced fashion – she must be a little older than an age when she can be easily moulded (read: brainwashed), no?
Well said Deepa!
There is an old saying that whenever a pendulum swings, it swings past the point of neutrality towards the other extreme before coming back….I think the same is happening with respect to woman’s rights. i live in the US and I am as liberal and feminist as they come, but then there is a certain strain of fake feminism manifesting itself these days Despite being treated equally on all fronts, some self proclaimed “modern intellectuals” make it a point to keep questioning as to whether they are truly equal, to the extent that they become paranoid about it Many of them strike a discordant note with their husbands/in laws just because of this paranoia …they end up disputing simple things just because it comes from either husband or their in laws. Some of the commentors here are not wrong when they say that women should ideally have kids before 30…it is a documented fact that first time pregnancy after 30-35 has a greater chance of resulting in the newborn having autism, retardation and other complications.
This is where “fake feminism” arises…I mean, get real…men have certain advantages and women have certain advantages. Women do have a faster biological clock But this doesn’t mean they cannot have a successful career or break the glass ceiling everywhere
Well Said : )
Having kids is not the sole purpose of being a woman.
Stumbled across a striking headline in facebook shared by my friend and voila! I wish this can be screwed inside every single male n female’s head of all ages. I seldom read articles but this surely needs some sharing so that atleast something so well thought and written shouldn’t go unnoticed. Kudos!
Thank you and welcome to Women’s Web 🙂
very well written..
Thanks for the appreciation Khushboo.
Hi Anne,I read your Article and understood you were being sarcastic.But sarcasm has to be dealt with very carefully in writing since it might fail to have the same effect compared to when you say something out loud.You must understand that a majority of the Indian mind doesn’t really understand sarcasm.They might even be gullible and rather narrow minded.
Yes Reema I do agree with you. However, I think the answer is to write more satires. Perhaps if people come across more satires, eventually they will understand how sarcasm worrks in the written word?
I agree with that! Keep at it. Brilliantly done, this article!
ya….tats wat is believed in our country…every reason is true
It’s high time we changed such archaic beliefs!
All the points do stand correct, Anne. Now it is also official that 46% of women in India are married before the age of 18 years as per the third NFHS. http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-09-09/india/41903186_1_child-brides-gaya-18-years.
Thanks for the info Shruti. I hope the person who said the India’s laws prevent early marriages sees it.
at first i saw just the title and was like “what the @@@@” … i thought i would leave a highly critical and somewhat abusive comment but you are absolutely right to believe in your writing abilities. i really like your nicely highlighted parts. … hope to read more
Thank you so much! I’m glad I didn’t end up getting a solid chiding from you 🙂
Your sarcasm comes through all right! Good one!
Thanks a lot Aditi!
An absolute gem of a read. Even the so called Cultured patriarchical society of ours could not have think of these reasons let alone write them. Glad you enlightened them . I hope this read whacks their head a bit and brings them to senses.
nice piece of writing.. and shocked to see that some people did not get the sarcasm in it which is quiet evident… and i read somewhere in the comments that its about male dominating system in india… but let me put this forward to all of them who think so that it is not about men it is about the family and the parents. it is their mentality and most of the time the mother alone… May be deep down they have the realisation that it is wrong but still they want to do this because they themselves in the life were forced to do so!! Shear jealous may be in sub-conscious mind!!!
Exactly Ankita, I’m glad you pointed out that I am not just talking about men alone but about men and women who think that women must get married early for various outdated and inane reasons.
Unless, of course the woman in questions WANTS to get married early. The bottom-line is the woman (or men for that matter) should have complete control over when she wants to get married.
Well, I guess so. However, as a parent or even as a friend, I would still advise against getting married early. Obviously I can’t force my will on any adult but I do believe that early marriage limits women in many ways.
Well written article where each and every word drips sarcasm.. I appreciate the writer who has guts to post this article esp the last point. Hope every reader understands the tone of this article.
Haha, very well written! We live live in a great country and we equally top the chart when it comes to hypocrisy. Arranged marriage is forced marriage and submitting to a stranger (taking Saat Fere doesn’t mentally prepare a woman to have sex the next day) on the wedding night must be termed as “RAPE”
So typically million of women are raped every year and we call it our culture. What culture do we refer to? The girls who brave their way out are caught and killed. Have my words, India is the greatest country in the world.
Nice article 🙂 Keep it up
How can ANYONE miss the clear sarcasm here?!! BTW.. beautiful article.. When i read the title though, got me boiling, but still had hopes that the article is really sarcastic. I request EVERY person to help abort this patriarchal society. “Parents” must stop treating a boy child any more special. Start belting your sons till they learn to respect women. Don’t be too sweet and partial to a boy child and bring them up to be brats in the society. Enough lessons have been taught nation-wide and please open your eyes at-least now!. There’s way too much anger in my whole family related to all these issues (I’m going off-topic you can say, but bear with me). I can’t believe my own “friends”, whom i thought are well cultured and educated, doing higher studies so that they can get more dowry!! C’mon!! what’s wrong with ppl!! When i blast them and ask if they turned retards, all they say is “What can we do, it’s been a part of our culture and the family of the bride itself is giving dowry and asking us to marry”. Seriously?! I bet more such ppl can be seen!! Hope ppl come to their senses soon!! And, Author, Great job! All the support that u need will be there. People like me are probably cowards who need a leader to change anything. Sorry if anything i said was off-topic. Just wanted to pour out my frustration!
P.S: All offence meant for anyone that it’s applicable to!
Peace
http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/
That’s A nice article too.. Do read..
Your anger is evident in your words. But belting a child will give rise to sociopaths and psychopaths. Respecting women has to be taught and girls have to take self defense classes.
This is complete bullshit and shameful to see a article like this. Both men and women needed for India’s development. If you keep on supress women like this, then we are wasting 50% resources within the country.
Sandhya- I don’t think the author will disagree with you. Good Article Anne. There are all these reasons and more why families seek to marry their daughters off young and why families seek young brides..all very patriarchal and problematic!!
Lets have a maternal society, Ill stay at home and cook and not do anything else. Ill get frisky, I wont explore any of the world, I wont compare myself to anyone. Ill be loving, caring, give a women all the physical pleasure she needs. BUT LET HER PROTECT ME AND TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSEHOLD AND THE KIDS AND THE FINANCES!!! Deal?? I for one am tired of the Indian women.. Watch as single women rates soar to western rates… Inspite of this western women are way better
I don’t know what you mean by “get frisky” but I don’t see anything wrong in a man staying at home and doing a good job of it – why the sarcasm? And I doubt the primary function of a marriage is for anyone to protect the other one. If that is your aim, get a security guard, maybe? Also, yes, the rate of single women is rising, and thank you, but those single women are happy enough.
Totally agree with Aparna. Some women stay at home by choice but not all. Same applies to Men. If a man wants to stay at home he can, without creating such a hullabaloo about it. It is quite pompous of you John to think that your other half cannot take care of you financially if she is given the right to and the oppurtunity. We are offering equality and you are demanding slavery.
Really? Id like to meet a Indian woman who ll wanna marry me when I’m unemployed. I might be wrong with this, but any girl I meet and If I was unemployed etc financially at nil, fall in love with me and marry me? it doesn’t work that way , that’s what I as a guy think, that a woman will only marry me when I’m successful, outgoing and have other attributes.And yes women want outgoing, protective men.. when u want these features in man, they opposite doesn’t work.. the same men cant take women in their face.. they wanna be a man for a soft spoken women.. Im not in those class of men who want a 15 year old girl who ll be ma cleaner at home.. but neither do I want women who disrespect men .. women need to learn to respect men first. most attitudes are to call a man a loser if hes is need or doesn’t come across as being confident and successful
and those women ur talking abt are not happy.. this system in India(which is a 4000 year old country comes from a researched wise theory)
You are answering your own questiion. The above discussion is pulling women up.. Not pulling the men down. Where in this article have disrespect been shown to men? It is just demanding a change of attitude in the 4000 year old system YOU are talking about. We respect our men. Now women want the same. As for you not getting a wife if you are not employed- there is a difference. Housewives are not- not employed. The day men understand this- you wont have trouble finding a wife who can support you financially only if you are capable to make a home and take care of the kids.
Firstly, I really appreciate the way you have presented the 360 degree picture of the whole marriage of a girl/woman in India. While some of the more worldly wise and educated parents are getting more liberal, some are still stuck with beliefs and practices best suited for them, so there is quite a balance coming into the society and also lot of girls are marrying for love and not just for family’s sake or following narrow minded class divisions. Well written article. I hope the message of the article reaches more number of people so that a realization comes that marriage is not about sacrificing a young innocent girl’s life but serves a greater purpose of building relationships and creating a mature society.
Brilliant article, madam. I hope the men and women take note. More importantly, the women. Let the bold and educated rebel and set an example. If more and more ladies delay their marriages to develop their personalities, it will become a trend which will stick. The men, meanwhile, can consider being more understanding. Otherwise be prepared to be thrown off their comfort zones.
I’dlike to think that snarkiness is self evident, but I wouldn’t bet on it
In short, the younger they are, the easier it is, you know, to train them to be the epitome of virtue and righteousness. Really ? What has age gotta do with docility ? And here I thought teenagers are the most rebellious creatures in the world.
Indian girls must marry young, if possible even before they can complete their studies. So, marriage automatically means that women and men can not study anymore ? In what era are you living ?
Indian girls must marry young because they should not be given any time to establish themselves in their careers. Career ? Running after a job, which pays enough for makeup and clothes , is not a career. You want a real career, figure out what you want to do, work hard for it, and stop blaming the marriage.
This will ensure that they do not witness how women in other parts of the world live and therefore will not question the status quo to demand unnecessary rights such as freedom, respect and equality This is just plain stupid. Everyone has access to media and internet. Travel was never prerequisite of western influences. It came through media and educated people like you.
one needn’t worry about the biological clock ticking away before a suitable heir is produced. Why is this wrong ? Doctors recommend women to have first kid before 30. Go and tell doctors, that this fact is stopping girls from enjoying their lives with multiple sexual partners over a long time. Or go and tell god. Why are you blaming the society ?
ps. I am not supporting child marriages. but you have not defined “young” either.
A sound opinion indeed and I feel that you have aptly pointed out the shortcomings of writer’s opinions, while I believe that writer of this post does have a point this article only serves to point out his/her contorted view of a normal Indian family. Although by no means am I telling that marrying young is good, I feel the need also point its shortcomings so readers can see both side of the coin(and indeed I find the opinion of writer highly skewed).
haha.. loved the satire. Keep writing. 🙂
Sarcasm : Only hope when direct conversation fails.
Loved the sarcasm and the much needed message to society..! “Catch them young” loved this line..!
Very nicely written!
Hi Anne, In your “About The Author” section, it says ‘Anne John plays with words’… Well, here, you’ve played with our social structuring, and played it very well too… Bravo! More power to you…!!!
very nice article… 🙂 very nicely written..
well written anne john ppls who think girls shud marry young shud go to hell well written anne keep on writing n keep up the good work
In fact, Indian urban girls should not marry at all! Bcuz, if these girls marry, they straightforwardly ask her man to rescind and abort all family relationships bcuz there won’t be pple to disturb these women’s peace and raise questions on their unbridled lifestyles. And that’s not enough, if they marry, friends of their husbands continue to visit husband’s home and also keep husbands away from nagging of their wives for a true manly get-together. I see thousands thousands of Indian women in cities and even in small towns are aging above 30 yrs and 35 yrs but they do not marry and one of the reasons is they could not find a man who could satisfy their lust of money and also such a guy could not guarantee freedom from his family. Yeah! Divorce is must even if these 30+ or 35+ aunties marry, because they could not tolerate even lifestyles and hobbies of their man. Since these aunties have whatsoever financial securities, they need not care for life of their husbands or even they make sure that their husbands should not sleep peacefully and receive appeasement for his natural appetite. I have never seen a woman or girl even in advance thinking developed countries with modern day society who demand money from her husband or boyfriend and who think that a guy does not have a life! Of course, million of women in those societies are married by 20 years of their age and give birth to babies also.
You have clearly as well as cleverly stated the things that we men should learn and adapt to. Just a sincere prayer that all men respect this and learn to enjoy the company of an equal partner, clever and an achiever.
Sounds like marrying in India at the young age means putting your entire life in jail. Just saying, everyone deserve the freedom to do whatever they want. I respect their culture but for someone who enjoy the privilege of free will this article really bother me. Yes, the articled shown the good side of marrying but in return the writer whom happen to be a woman shown that it is ok to be submissive and forget that woman deserve to have their own identity in the society.
This should have been good if written in the early or may be the late 80s. Today, no girls get married to a guy who is 10 years older. Considering that fact the guy is also young when married. Will he not miss out on the fun to shoulder responsibilities getting married early? And yeah, as rightly mentioned, this is getting polarized. You have laws that protect the women but none that protect the men. Seriously? If you claim to be equal what is the basis? Most of the guys today stay away from their home. So, do the girls. And, it’s because of job opportunities. They need each other. So, better if they marry early…
It needs no telling that this is meant to be sarcastic. But the facts are not entirely correct. Even among uneducated people who dominates depends on the personality not on education or late marriage. Social norms prevail. Even well earning girl finds life tough. The husband takes away all her salary and gives her daily allowance each day for which she has to beg. It takes a lot of courage to break the marriage even when it is not working and is abusive, not because of early marriage. When I was head of a large organisation employing large number of women, they complained to me about this and told me that theie husbands would be waiting for them on the pay day for them to come out of the office to snatch the pay from them. I offered to credit their salary to a bank account. But they replied that it is not of any use. Breaking away from the marriage would result in their children suffering. Mind you all of them were post graduates. God only knows what the solution is.
Bull Shit….. I just don’t have any words which can express how am feeling after reading this Dumb Article…. For your information Marriage is a amazing bond where both share common rights…. It built on sacrifices from both the end.. Excuse me!!! Girls are not meant for sale….Am ashamed I came across such a dumb article… I cant imagine what kind of person you are…. Must say….Ur A Disgusting Human this planet….!!!
Please learn to read an article fully before you hit the comments button, and that too with an abusive comment of this nature. This is meant to be a satire as the author says clearly at the end.
NISHA, do you understand the meaning of sarcasm? Even if the article by itself wasn’t glaringly obvious,you should have at least read the disclaimer before posting such an offending comment that simply makes you seem like a dumbass. Let me spell this out loud and clear: the author is with you in your opinions regarding the matter, and is simply expressing it in an intelligent, reverse-psychological manner.
This was an excellent article. I first thought the disclaimer was unnecessary but reading some of the comments I realize the need for it. It’s sad to know that they still morons in our society both men and women who do not see the sarcasm. I hope they got married really young and are controlled by their respective husband and wives, because that sort of stupidity needs to be contained.
Wow. To put it simply, I wanted to trash this post like I’d trashed no post before, until I read the ‘Note’ at the bottom! 😛
Of course, the sarcasm was oozing in every sentence and full-stop, but somehow just the extent of the sarcasm, probably, made it so difficult for me to believe in the satire of the post even that I felt the urge to ridicule the write to magnanimous proportions.
Very direct and extremely well-written! (Y)
How many girls in India doesn’t want to marry? Girls themselves are the ones to blame. Starting from the age 15 to 26 they are becoming like a half-mental. I don’t know why?
What made my day was reading the comments – where many did not get the sarcasm in the article and tried to abuse the author.. I understood the sarcasm reading the first line in the first point (and the url :).. it was not necessary to read further to understand what the author wants to say..
Absolute non-sense… You people forget that girls are also human beings and they too have feelings and dreams about their lives. Don’t try to beat down the dreams of a girl… I suggest that girls should achieve their dreams and goals before getting married. Also they shouldn’t be forced to marry someone of parent’s or public’s interest. After all, she is the one who have spend rest of her life with her husband.
Arjun,
While I very much appreciate your opinion, you must understand that the author shares your opinion too. If that wasn’t evident from her dripping-with-sarcasm writing, you should have at least read her disclaimer.
Just pointing out.
Yours sincerely, A fellow Earthling
Such a well written article.Sad that most readers didn’t read the article fully and got it all wrong.
very well written…and true to the core ! 🙂
Well written one Ann John..
agree with every point…sarcasm is explicit…note wasnt necessary…when we start reading first point itself we understand reader’s point of…bt its pathetic to see abusive comments by some of the reader…a wise reader will understand the sarcasm at the beginning itself… I appreciate the point of view and the way of expression…!
Very well penned !! loved the way you have sarcastically mirrored the harsh and inhuman realities of the society where women are victims to the patriarchal set up ..We do respect men and would like to take them together to fight this old set up. It would be great if the attitude and the mentality changes for a better harmonious living on this earth. An Independent woman who is economically stable can face all the challenges in life so first she should educate herself and be economically strong and then think of getting married. Marriage is something divine where two hearts meet and both wish to grow old together and its not about dominating and having control over each other. Love and be loved …Life is too short to be wasted in hating and dominating others…I appreciate your way of expressing your thoughts …keep it up ..Best wishes..
I was going thru the article and being an Indian feminist ( 31 and single ) — with every line I was getting more furious. But towards the end of it — it made all the sense ! great piece of writing.! for some marriage is the only motive to be on this earth — for all those who think that single women shud get educated and stuff just doll up their dau to stand in the marriage market — later they just want them to cook food @ homes. all the rules are only for dau , the sons can enjoy at any level and yet “demand” their type of wife.
The writer being a girl and writing such a stupid article was baffling….I think it’s stupid to fight about equal rights when a girl doesn’t want equal rights and freedom in everything.
You forgot to mention how the “SABSE BAADA BOOJH” of Indian parents would be releived if the girls married sooner. Afterall, we all consider our daughters as debt only ,,right? Indian laws should prohibit marriage of girls before 25 yrs, I strongly object “18 yrs” as a marriagiable age!! I mean do we even know how world functions by 18?
Perfect Words !!! Nice Post and Well Written..
I came across this and though about the decreasing emphasis on marriage. This also was a struggle for me, “Why should I marry someone?” I thought about God’s plan, and if marriage was involved at all. I found this article and it helped me a lot to understand, why we need to marry. Marriage is eternal and I know that to be true! Hope this helps for anyone. http://www.reallifeanswers.org/love-and-relationships/why-marry/
Well written Anne. At first I wondered why you bothered to include a disclaimer for such obvious satire. But then I read the comments.
OMG! When I saw this post snipet on the website, I opened it with prejudice and anger. Oh how happy I am that this turned out to be a snide comment on the way our ‘elders’ think. Sadly, yes, that IS how they think. Thank you for this wonderful post. I enjoyed reading it. Now sharing it…. 🙂
Very well written … Sarcasm is explicit … No need of disclaimer note.shocked to see impatient readers who doesnt understood the clear sarcasm in this article…
i am totally against all the points being raised to marry at a younger age. why isn’t she having the right to raise her voice. why can’t she be career oriented? why does she needs to be dependent on her husband for every single penny.? why isn’t the guy being questioned about his virginity? why is the girl expected to be a virgin??
and yes simply loved the sarcasm.
Amused to read the comments (specially negative ones), it is a pity we read or see only what we want to rather than understand what is being said/written. Nice Read, well written, sadly this is really the mindset in most Indian households.
Well said
Ha ha ha.. It’s a lovely satire for me. Sarcasm at it’s best.
short, the younger they are, the easier it is, you know, to train them to be the epitome of virtue and righteousness. Really ? What has age gotta do with docility ? And here I thought teenagers are the most rebellious creatures in the world.
very nice as you have written this article in ironical way, I really appreciate it .it is just a truth of this patriarchal society . It has always happened also.
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