What actions should HR and business leaders take to curb mental harassment at work? Share your thoughts.
Marriage need not run to a template based on tradition. Creating your own version of marriage can be more fun and satisfying
The glorification of marriage is the refuge of the insecure. After 2 years of socio-legal sanction, I am no more or less his than when we first committed to each other, voicing our shared desire to build a life together. The world views me now as more important, the fulfiller of a position and a role, but may I never make the mistake of viewing myself as others see me.
Seek instead, partnership. Independent of labels, a bond that values the person and not the institution within which millions are housed, regardless of the wildly varying degrees of affection and disaffection for each other. Value not your pedestal of “wife”, for signing on a dotted line didn’t grant you instant superpowers or transform you into a paragon of virtue. Your relationship is only as worthy as your closeness. Or else there would be no divorce. There would be no lonely marriages. Others wouldn’t slide in to spread warmth in the hollows you carry within you.
Get neither outraged nor uppity for being a piece of the puzzle. The world only needs you to fit. Let it not dictate the minuet within the mating dance of your marriage. Fight for that fiercely. Let it be yours alone. Unearth subsets of fresher relationships between you. Hiking buddy. Fellow foodie. Aggravator with prescient powers. Partner in crime.
Tell him your home is cleaner when he travels. But also honestly acknowledge that he is your heart. Marvel at how he slid into your mindspace; and how his nose finds the perfect parking spot in the chubbiness of your cheek. Laugh at your failures as a team. Accept you won’t be perfect. What do you plan to do for the next many years if you have nothing to mend?
Call him your roommate. Your boyfriend. Breakfast chef with benefits. But for the love of god or glitter, (if you’re atheist), spare him the relegation to the “husband” tag. That ugly black tarpaulin of a descriptor, covering all manner of bonds and equations, a pre-outlined sexist title of maleness that does a disservice to the thousands of same-sex relationships with mighty ties and loose social definitions.
If I am as radical as this, why did I bother with marriage, you might ask. And to this question, I will only smile and say not all that we do is for ourselves. I may be one among its many members, but far be it for marriage to define me, or read aloud its Manual of Acceptable Wifely Behavior while I obediently nod. I’m happy to play the game, but the rules, my friends, are his and mine alone. Within our little plot of sixty-four squares, the only person I check in with is my mate.
Dilnavaz Bamboat's heart occupies prime South Mumbai real estate. The rest of her lives in Silicon Valley, California, where she hikes, reads, hugs redwood trees and raises a pint-sized feminist. She is the read more...
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
I wanted to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting 'win' moments.
My daughter turned eight years old in January, and among the various gifts she received from friends and family was an absolutely beautiful personal journal for self-growth. A few days ago, she was exploring the pages when she found a section for writing a letter to her future self. She found this intriguing and began jotting down her thoughts animatedly.
My curiosity piqued and she could sense it immediately. She assured me that she would show me the letter soon, and lo behold, she kept her word.
I glanced at her words, expecting to see a mention of her parents in the first sentence. But, to my utter delight, the first thing she had written about was her AMBITION. Yes, the caps here are intentional because I want to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting ‘win’ moments.
Uorfi Javed has been making waves through social media, and is often the target of trolls. So who and what exactly is this intriguing young woman?
Uorfi Javed (no relation to Javed Akhtar) is a name that crops up in my news feeds every now and again. It is usually because she got trolled for being in some or other ‘daring’ outfit and then posting those images on social media. If I were asked, I would not be able to name a single other reason why she is famous. I am told that she is an actor but I would have no frankly no clue about her body of work (pun wholly unintended).
So is Urfi Javed (or Uorfi Javed as she prefers) famous only for being famous? How does she impact the cause of feminism by permitting herself to be objectified, trolled, reviled?
Please enter your email address