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Years after dowry in India was made illegal, it still continues to exist in our society. Why? What is the next step in eliminating the dowry system in India?
Every day you read about the atrocities committed against the “stronger” sex (yes that was intentional!) from the time they are yet-to-be-born till they die, naturally or unnaturally. And then just when you think things cannot get worse, you hear of a story that sounds like the silver lining in the cloud, that re-affirms your faith that all is not lost, that women can speak up for themselves and will always do so.
Dowry was made illegal in India more than five decades back. But it still lingers in our society, and in every strata of the society. If at all, it takes an uglier form in the upper strata, where affordability exists, and a lot more is on stake, societal standing included. Here dowry is hidden under a blanket of rituals, traditions and gifts to the newly-wed couple.
Archana* is a well-educated girl, who studied in Delhi, is a topper in English (Hons.) from the best and most coveted girls’ college of University of Delhi and working with a leading corporate. Like in a lot of other Indian families, her parents arranged her marriage. Boy’s family met girl’s family, girl’s family met boy’s family, girl met boy and so on…
For the uninitiated, each of these occasions in an Indian wedding is marked with an exchange of gifts, with the scales tipping to the boy’s side. Then came the money for the arranging the engagement, which the girl’s side paid to the boy’s family. Then the money for the marriage arrangements, then the shagun, the gifts…. In this case, the girl remained in near-complete ignorance of whatever “gifts” were “requested”. Three days prior to the wedding, another atrocious demand, this one for a car, was made. This conversation was overheard by chance by the girl revealing all the drama to her. And she called off the wedding. Period.
What next? If we try to analyze why this evil is still present in our country, it is because there is no “next”. We pat the girl’s back, call her a hero. We call the boy and his family names. And then everyone gets on with their lives. The girl and family report the issue and move on with their life. The boy and his family get off scot free, ready to leech at someone else’s household next. And the cycle continues.
The society can do its bit by reporting such issues, and it does! But in the absence of backup action by lawmakers, these reports become useless. Shouldn’t law move equally fast in penalizing the offenders?
* Name changed to protect privacy.
*Photo credit: Salil Waadhavkar (Used under the Creative Commons Attribution License.)
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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