Years after dowry in India was made illegal, it still continues to exist in our society. Why? What is the next step in eliminating the dowry system in India?
Every day you read about the atrocities committed against the “stronger” sex (yes that was intentional!) from the time they are yet-to-be-born till they die, naturally or unnaturally. And then just when you think things cannot get worse, you hear of a story that sounds like the silver lining in the cloud, that re-affirms your faith that all is not lost, that women can speak up for themselves and will always do so.
Dowry was made illegal in India more than five decades back. But it still lingers in our society, and in every strata of the society. If at all, it takes an uglier form in the upper strata, where affordability exists, and a lot more is on stake, societal standing included. Here dowry is hidden under a blanket of rituals, traditions and gifts to the newly-wed couple.
Archana* is a well-educated girl, who studied in Delhi, is a topper in English (Hons.) from the best and most coveted girls’ college of University of Delhi and working with a leading corporate. Like in a lot of other Indian families, her parents arranged her marriage. Boy’s family met girl’s family, girl’s family met boy’s family, girl met boy and so on…
For the uninitiated, each of these occasions in an Indian wedding is marked with an exchange of gifts, with the scales tipping to the boy’s side. Then came the money for the arranging the engagement, which the girl’s side paid to the boy’s family. Then the money for the marriage arrangements, then the shagun, the gifts…. In this case, the girl remained in near-complete ignorance of whatever “gifts” were “requested”. Three days prior to the wedding, another atrocious demand, this one for a car, was made. This conversation was overheard by chance by the girl revealing all the drama to her. And she called off the wedding. Period.
What next? If we try to analyze why this evil is still present in our country, it is because there is no “next”. We pat the girl’s back, call her a hero. We call the boy and his family names. And then everyone gets on with their lives. The girl and family report the issue and move on with their life. The boy and his family get off scot free, ready to leech at someone else’s household next. And the cycle continues.
The society can do its bit by reporting such issues, and it does! But in the absence of backup action by lawmakers, these reports become useless. Shouldn’t law move equally fast in penalizing the offenders?
* Name changed to protect privacy.
*Photo credit: Salil Waadhavkar (Used under the Creative Commons Attribution License.)
Founder @Tell-A-Tale - I gobble stories and spit out new ones everyday; travel addict, software engineer, storywriter for brands, mentor, Renaissance woman in-the- read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, indivisual posts do not necessarily represent the platofrom's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
We are often told that our 'value' diminishes with each person we give ourselves to sexually, but I believe pleasurable, casual sex with full consent made me a better, more honest, and deeply caring person.
We are often told that our ‘value’ diminishes with each person we give ourselves to sexually, but I believe pleasurable, casual sex with full consent made me a better, more honest, and deeply caring person.
It was a regular afternoon, and we were having lunch on the bleachers in the basketball court at school, when the question was first posed. We could not have been older than eleven and in retrospect it feels like we may have been too young for this discussion, but at the time it seemed like a perfectly natural thing to discuss.
There are many, many girls like Seema who are stuck in loveless, abusive marriages; the abuse can be verbal, emotional, physical, financial.
Trigger Warning: This has domestic violence and may be triggering for survivors.
A recent research showed that an increase in gold prices is a great threat to girl children in our country. The fear of higher dowry leads people to kill them even before being born!
“Hey Bhagwan beti paida ho gai, ab kya kare?” “bojh-bojh-bojh… beta hota to paise leta, ye to sirf paise lutwaegi… paraya dhan… paraya dhan”
It's only after dowry deaths that we wake up, every time. If the woman in question had broken her marriage because of the obvious problems, we'd have said she didn't 'adjust enough'.
It’s only after dowry deaths that we wake up, every time. If the woman in question had broken her marriage because of the obvious problems, we’d have said she didn’t ‘adjust enough’.
Trigger Warning: This has domestic violence and dowry harassment and may be triggering for a survivor.