Why Don’t Parents Support A Daughter Facing Domestic Violence Before Things Go Out Of Hand?

Parents need to assure the daughter that it is perfectly fine to walk out of an abusive marriage, not caring about what the society would comment on.

Trigger Warning: This deals with suicide and domestic violence and may be triggering for survivors.

Among the many violence that women face today, dowry harassment still holds a prominent place in our society. While it is impossible to stop people from turning greedy and pouncing on the innocent daughters-in-law of the household, at least their death can be prevented.

Dowry harassment led 22 yr old woman to take this extreme step

A 22-year-old woman from Hyderabad hanged herself after taking the life of her innocent three-year-old son. They were married for four years and over time it is to be noted that the husband had always been harassing her to bring more dowry. At such times she would call her parents and inform them about her pain and agony. This time too she had informed them and also had conveyed that she has suicidal thoughts. She had gone through physical torture from her mother-in-law as well to which her husband was a mute spectator. Her parents had tried convincing her over the phone but it was not enough.

Now a case has been registered and the parents with relatives are protesting against their daughter’s in-laws, demanding justice. It is quite evident that they would have to surrender before the law but the life of two has gone forever.

When she had to take the life of her own kid, it depicts the pain and the level of torture she would have undergone to take such an extreme step in her life. She couldn’t trust her husband and leave her child behind. She simply didn’t want her son to suffer at others’ hands. And she did not want to trouble her parents anymore by asking them for monetary help.

Could something have been done?

Physical and mental abuse is always dangerous. When a daughter complains of the same, then as parents, immediate action is needed. How much ever money they might spend on her in-laws, it can never guarantee the true happiness of their daughter. It is important to understand that she must be safe in her husband’s house. When her welfare is at stake, then it is better to part ways.

What stops them from bringing their daughter back to their parent’s home?

If the daughter is financially stable, then she wouldn’t have expected her parents to interfere and resolve the situation. She would have taken the step and would have walked out with her child. Parents need to understand that more than a woman getting married, being financially independent is more important for her.

It is the parents’ emotional support that is needed here to comfort the daughter that it is perfectly fine to walk out of this abusive marriage not caring about what the society would comment on.

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When she shares about having suicidal thoughts then immediately parents need to interfere and take her back with them. Is it temporary or permanent can be decided later. The most important point is that she shouldn’t remain there alone.

The law will play its role here and justice will be served someday but two lives in which one who hasn’t even seen the world is no more now and that is painful.

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