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Self care does not equate with selfishness! It will prepare you to face your challenges again, give you that necessary boost to self esteem.
Photo by kevin laminto on Unsplash
My very close friend listed the tasks she had to complete before her trip to Italy. The plants needed to be tended to, the bags had to be packed, the house was supposed to be left spic and span, and there were myriads of other chores. What made me heartily pleased was that she squeezed into her list a plan to go for a nice haircut.
That was the least that she was doing for herself, with other jobs being given higher priority. That brings me to raise the question. Why do many women feel so guilty when it comes to self-care? Does this question resonate with you?
Over time, women, more than men, are perceived to be the primary caregivers who are governed by a sense of commitment and responsibility towards the family. They have been conditioned to believe that taking care of others comes first and that they can think about themselves only if there is a little bit of time left. That mindset definitely needs to change.
Neglecting your needs has adverse effects. It takes a toll not just on your physical health but on your mental and emotional growth as well. If you constantly overlook your needs, stress and anxiety will build up over time, and you will not be able to function normally. Remember that you are human and that you have your limitations. Self-care, therefore, needs to be accommodated into your daily routine not as a luxury but as a necessity.
You may be wearing the cape of the super mom who runs the house efficiently, and it is fine if you enjoy doing so. At the same time, it is important that you remember that besides being an awesome mother, you are also someone else.
If you are a dedicated professional who achieves all her targets in the workplace, it is something that you need to be proud of. However, don’t aim to achieve these goals by putting yourself under stress and ignoring your physical wellbeing.
It is not uncommon to see people around us for whom the “I” factor is shamelessly strong. The word “we” does not exist in their dictionary. As long as they have all that they want, they do not care about others. They lack empathy, and they are totally insensitive to the feelings of others. These are the members of the selfish club.
There is a clear distinction between selfishness and self-care. Self-care does not mean that you detach yourself from others and focus only on yourself. It means that while taking care of your loved ones, you also work around your schedule and do what you can to keep yourself happy and healthy.
The term “self-care” sounds fancy and may be misleading by giving the impression of something expensive and extravagant. Well, not at all! You do not need to indulge in extensive retail therapy, go to the Swiss Alps, or buy a beauty pack at an exorbitant price. In the simplest of ways, you can take care of yourself. Discover the ways that make you smile, and help release your stress. The choices to brighten up your life are endless, and you just need to pick yours.
Strengthen yourself to accept that it is all fine if you have not been able to accomplish all your tasks. That is not something to feel guilty about.
You may be the best chef around with a house full of foodies. That does not mean that you need to whip up half a dozen dishes at the cost of being totally exhausted.
Nurture the power of self-love. Go ahead if you want to simply laze around, and relax with a book, listen to music, or just watch your favorite show. Some of the work may have been left undone, but you will feel a lot more relaxed and invigorated. And yes, the world certainly did not fall apart and will still go on!
Rashmi Bora Das is a freelance writer settled in the suburbs of Atlanta. She has a master’s degree in English from India, and a second master’s in Public Administration from the University of read more...
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Does Ranbir Kapoor expressing his preferences about Alia using lipstick really make him a toxic husband?
Sometime back, a video of Alia Bhatt with Vogue went viral where she shares her go-to make-up routine and her unique way to apply lipstick. It went viral not for the quirkiness but because she said that after applying the lipstick, she “rubs it off” because her then boyfriend and now husband – Ranbir Kapoor likes her natural lip colour and asks her to “wipe it off”, whenever they are out on a date night.
Netizens had gone crazy over this video, calling RK toxic and not respecting AB’s choice to wear makeup. I saw the video a couple of times to understand the reason behind the uproar but I failed to understand it. I read many comments and saw people saying that asking your partner or dictating terms on how they should wear makeup is a major sign to leave the person.
Modesty or humility is viewed as the hallmark of a well-brought-up girl, which makes it hard for us to be open to any real compliments without feeling like an imposter.
Why is accepting that compliment so hard?
Colleagues: Have you lost weight? You look good!
She (who has spent months doing Keto and weights): It’s the dress that’s making me look thinner!
Guests: Your house is so beautiful and neat!
She (who spent the last five hours mopping and polishing): It could be tidier; there is just so much dust.
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