Few Pages From The Diary Of An Overwhelmed Teenager

The Indian education system, along with parents, create havoc of mental pressure on teenagers to meet certain norms of competition!

Trigger Warning: Mention of suicide attempt because of stress.

Friday

20.2.2020

It’s 1: 30 at night, Mummy and Daddy are fast asleep now, thinking that I would continue to study till dawn breaks as per my routine, but contrary to their beliefs I am not doing it tonight. In fact, I am not doing it for last many nights, yes, I remained up late in the night with my books on, but my thoughts are just out of my control.

I can’t focus on a single thing, no matter how hard I try! A roller coaster ride of varying thoughts keeps rolling in my head without a finite direction and dimension. There is a lot I want to talk about, but unsure with whom and how?

After a week of sleepless nights and the constant dilemma of how to share my thoughts… I have decided to pen it down.

Monday

23.2.2020

I really want those new earphones launched last week. Sleek, smart and costly, but daddy isn’t agreeing to buy it. All my friends have trendy gadgets, only I am deprived of these luxuries. My parents never understand my needs.

All what they care about is grades, performance and competition. Whenever I try to convince them for a new smart device , what I get is an hour-long preaching and stories from their childhood. I am fed up!

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Tuesday

24.2.2020

Grr… Mumma checked my bag!

How can she? Is there a word called privacy in this house? She checked into my personal stuff without my consent, found my valentine’s gifts and now furious on me. If she can’t comprehend my feelings, why she keeps check on me?

Sunday

1.3.2020

I am super excited today, don’t think going to have a bit of sleep tonight. Tomorrow I am going to have a sleep-over with my friends along with my girlfriend. I am excited, nervous, panic all at the same time.

Tuesday

3.3.2020

Ah! What a wonderful night it was! I’m so full of different feelings, I can’t wait till late at night to write it down.

We had a lot of fun at night and had made almost anything but study. The night was full of fun, laughter and love.

Thursday

5.3.2020

Board exams are just round the corner, time to focus on study.

Tuesday

21.4.2020

Exams are over, and so is my will to live. No, it’s not only a statement but the harsh truth of my life.

Indian education system is hurting children!

The Indian education system, along with parents, create havoc of mental pressure on us to meet certain norms of competition. There is a continuous quest for excellence, without the basic understanding of difference of beings.

90’s isn’t enough, you must get 99. Study, study and study. Forget yourself, forget about your choices, study one more chapter, one more hour, one more day, perhaps one more life!

We are so done with it that my girlfriend attempted suicide. She was saved by the attentiveness of her pet, but her soul died there.

If little did her parents know that painters can also lead a successful life, her dreams wouldn’t have killed so mercilessly, neither did her spirit. Not only hers, but mine too.

If you or anyone you know is feeling depressed or suicidal, here are some of the helplines available in India. Please call. 
Aasra, Mumbai: 022-27546669
Sneha, Chennai: 044-2464 0050
Lifeline, Kolkata: 033-2474 4704
Sahai, Bangalore: 080–25497777
Roshni, Hyderabad: 040-66202000, 040-66202001
SPEAK2us – Tamilnadu 9375493754

Image source: free and edited on CanvaPro

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About the Author

Manali Omar

By education physicist, by profession teacher and by nature learner. read more...

2 Posts | 2,043 Views

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