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Does Your Relationship Give You ‘Space’?

Relationships usually die without personal space. Yet many couples don't realize importance of giving space, especially in Indian marriages. 

Relationships usually die without personal space. Yet many couples don’t realize importance of giving space, especially in Indian marriages.  

So what is personal space? On a common canvas, it can be seen as having privacy in a few important domains of life and making time for oneself apart from the romantic relationship.

However, one ingredient which is still not seen as being important for a long-lasting relationship is ‘ personal space’. Unfortunately, it is an underrated term in the dictionary of most of the couples.

A love without obsession and control

How much love is too much? This is a long-standing question. And it’s not easy to be answer as every human is different & so are their needs. Another question is what are the most important ingredients for a delicious (content) and nutritious (healthy) romantic relationship? This is easier to answer and it contains common ingredients such as trust, love, bonding, communication, loyalty etc. But what about personal space?

Couples need space in a relationship so they don’t suffocate each other. Having time apart is extremely healthy and maintains a freshness in their relationship. It encourages each person to maintain their own sense of identity while still being a couple, and it fosters independence and strength rather than neediness and clinginess.

In the initial phase of a romantic relationship, people usually crave for attention, attachment and lots of time from their partners in order to stay close.

In fact, people in love usually tend to show a certain type of possessiveness over each other and this is common among couples. Possessiveness is usually accompanied by internal insecurities as well.

Putting yourself first & asking for personal space is not selfish!

Love and hormones are not the ultimate force to maintain a healthy and long-lasting relationship. Self and self-love are first and foremost to maintain a loving relationship with your partner.

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Here, the terms self and self-love are far away from being selfish. It simply means loving yourself enough to love others. And this self-love needs space. Space to grow, space to bloom, space to follow dreams and passions.

Relationships usually die without space. Once the fever of hormones starts declining, the need of space in a relationship starts emerging more. People crave for their ‘me time’, crave to make time for their passions, hobbies, etc.

And when this eternal demand of self remains unsatisfied because of possessiveness, social pressure, etc, it becomes the hidden bone of contention among couples.

Speedbumps on your path to healthy personal space

Not getting enough personal space is usually a big but unnoticed reason of failure of a relationship.

Space is required as couples may have different sets of interest and passions, which are supposed to be followed in order to maintain the uniqueness of the individual. Pursuing one’s passion is essential to lead a seemingly happy life.

It is very important to understand that there is a difference between finding one’s space in a relationship and being averted from your partner.

  1. The former is a healthy desire of any human, but later could be a red- flag in the relationship.
  2. The former is natural, but later could be a problem derived behaviour.
  3. The former gives more contentment to the people if communicated properly, but later is surely a way to get parted.

Social media suffocation

The role of social media platforms is also interesting in this scenario. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, etc. have played a vital role in invading privacy. These apps have given their users a 24×7 access to look into the other’s life, or better to say, in their mind.

Information and access to your loved ones is very easy and connectivity is available at almost every second. These apps have given people opportunity to stay connected at any time whenever they want. It gives them access to reach their people whenever they miss them, whenever they need them, which is definitely a great idea.

But wait, is it really that of an great idea? It has a flip-side too. Making people available for one another 24×7 is not entirely a boon, but it’s a step towards invading personal space. Once a person is available on these platforms, it is easy to get information about them and even to stalk them.

Putting pictures, writing thoughts, voicing opinions, showing off love-hate, making and breaking relations in virtual world is trendy among the new generation. The amount of information available through these platforms is overwhelming.

Seeing pictures of your partner from their past (former-partners), reading their opinion on public platforms that are not similar to yours causes worries, anxiety and arguments between couples.

How close is too close?

A study, published in the Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behaviour and Social Networking, found that people who use Facebook more than once an hour are more likely to “experience Facebook–related conflict with their romantic partners. ” That conflict could then lead to a breakup or divorce.

According to the hypothesis of this study: “monitoring your partner too closely and more frequent use of social media leads to misunderstandings and feelings of jealousy”.

This is alarming and now with the changing perspective, new questions should be asked. How much closeness is too much? Are we giving each other enough personal space to build a strong relationship?

Image source: Unsplash


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About the Author

Manali Omar

By education physicist, by profession teacher and by nature learner. read more...

2 Posts | 1,800 Views

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