What To Do With The Male Victim Complex of Indian Society?

In Indian society, men are held on a higher pedestal than their women counterparts. That is a fact, albeit a sad one, no matter how much you try to sugarcoat it.

First, I would like to add a disclaimer that I love my country very much, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s sentiments. This is just my opinion.

Rapes are to India, what school shootings are to the USA. A day doesn’t go when I don’t read or hear about a rape case in the news, either as the main headline of the morning paper, or a small column in the corner. They are so frequent, it’s not even possible to report all of them, so people largely hear about the more notable ones, when in reality there are many more that occur.

I am largely curious about why, in a country where we worship, there are so many female gods in different forms. Lakshmi Mata, Saraswati Devi, Durga Mata, etc. Yet, somewhere in society, we fail to instil these same values in men.

Why do we still have a primitive idea of women’s sexuality?

A significant reason for this is that we still carry a very primitive attitude toward the ideas of open sexuality and feminism. Even though we like to tell ourselves that these attitudes are restricted to only villages and small towns, it isn’t true.

When we have made significant strides of progress in making India safer and more liveable for women, there remain numerous outdated mindsets in urban and ‘progressive’ areas as well.

And after a while of observation, I also realized that this has a lot to do with the male youth of our country.

People like Andrew Tate and fictional characters like Patrick Bateman are idolized by boys who are quite literally in 5th and 6th standards to young men in college. The concept of ‘sigma’ and ‘alpha’ males has swept them away in some kind of misguided complex, where treating girls badly makes you a stronger person.

This is what access to social media without proper awareness or contextual learning does to young minds that can be easily influenced.

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The f-word is the enemy!

This also leads to the concept of feminism being severely misunderstood by them.

These ideals of manliness lead them to believe that somehow, they are being victimized, they are not allowed to be men. When anyone speaks about issues concerning women, they go into a defensive state of mind, bringing up false accusations and male problems.

I am willing to admit, false molestation cases are a thing.

However, they are not as big an issue as they are made out to be, especially in India. I am willing to bet anything that for every false case, ten cases are genuine. A few cases done for attention or revenge do not detract from the vast number of women who do not receive justice and are forced to live with the trauma of being violated.

Yes, men also have problems. Who doesn’t?

However, there are two things here.

Firstly, male problems do not invalidate female problems. Having emotional pain, or needing to earn money and support the family are problems faced by everyone. But at the same time, the harsh truth is that men do not even come as close as to women’s pain of being sexually assaulted or oppressed in one’s own homes.

In Indian society, men are held on a higher pedestal than their women counterparts. That is a fact, albeit sad, no matter how much you try to sugarcoat it.

Two, emotional issues happen to all genders. I could even argue it happens to women more, but I won’t. Life is painful. Your pain does not invalidate or give you the right to judge someone else’s predicament.

Ability is not defined by gender!

No, equal pay and status for women in jobs cannot be countered by the fact that ‘they don’t do as well as men’. The reason they don’t is that they are only starting to taste that freedom. Many women work hard, and they do better jobs than men can do. Ability is not related to gender in most cases.

Feminism is not about condemning or vilifying men, it is about condemning the atrocities and discrimination that occur against women, and such things should be condemned by all people, men or women. Ultimately, we are all dependent on each other for survival.

There is no justification for ignoring the genuine issues we face, both in the workplace, at home, or anywhere we go.

Rape cannot be justified by terming the victim as ‘characterless’ for wearing certain clothes or asking why she was walking around at night. Neither action is a crime, but rape is. A woman has the right to walk wherever and whenever she likes, to wear whatever she wants, and she also has the right to be safe while doing so.

If men want to be truly strong, they must learn to master their bodies and control their urges, respect women, and teach their progeny the same.

What happens when women do report a crime?

Uno-reverse: Instead of the accused, arrest the victim.

Due to this complex, many women do not report incidents of sexual harassment for fear of being called a liar. The police in our country do not help either. When the girls of Indraprastha College for Women, part of Delhi University, were protesting against molesters entering the college, they arrested the women.

Rape is one of the worst crimes any human can perform on another. It is a core violation of one’s dignity, and the person who does it, in my eyes, loses his humanity, and all rights that go along with it.

I would like to tell all women who may be reading this: you have the right to be safe, and nothing can change that. Not the clothes you wear, not the place you go, nothing. Fight for that right, be strong, and stick together. Not just for yourself, but for all women like you. If you believe in feminism, shout it out loud: there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Image source: sviatlanazrenka, free and edited on CanvaPro

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