It Is Not Always A Happy Mother’s Day For Everyone!

This post is just to make victims of narcissistic abuse as children, feel no pressure to celebrate Mother's Day. It's ok to feel pained, sad, upset, angry, frustrated, all of the above on Mother's Day. 



Not everyone has a great childhood or loving parents. And yet everyone feels pressured to send a Happy Mother’s Day message. This post is only to put out the message that to some people, the day and such messages can actually be quite triggering.

This post goes out to validate the children of narcissistic mothers who lacked empathy, acted entitled all the time, used their children to regulate their emotions and did not give their children a nurturing environment to become the best versions of themselves.

This post is just to make these victims of narcissistic abuse feel no pressure to celebrate Mother’s Day. It’s ok to feel pained, sad, upset, angry, frustrated, all of the above on Mother’s Day.

However, no matter who caused the trauma, the responsibility to heal from it always lies upon the survivor. As tough as it may be, this #NotHappyMother’sDay, let’s take a pledge to heal from our toxic childhood and stop the generational trauma.


Those who love their mothers please stop reading now. 

This is only for those who have a difficult relationship with their mothers to say the least.

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This goes out to all those who do not feel like doing anything nice for their mothers this Mother’s Day.

I want to tell you, it’s ok to feel anything but happy on Mother’s Day.

It’s ok to feel anger towards someone who didn’t cheer you when you were low.

It’s ok not to love someone who found ways to diminish each one of your achievements.

It’s ok to want to cut off from the person who made you feel the worst on your birthday and because of whom you don’t feel like celebrating it even today.

It’s ok to have just a cordial relationship with your mom who never hugged you, never kissed you, and never told you they love you.

It’s ok to not feel anything towards the primary care giver in your life who never tried to understand you, never motivated you and never stood by you when you made mistakes.

It’s ok to hate the mom who gaslighted you when you told her she broke you.

It’s ok. Even if everyone looks down on you for not loving your mother, I am telling you, it’s ok.

It does not make you a bad person.

And it’s not and was never your fault

You were too young.

You were too helpless.

You deserved the love.

You deserved the encouragement.

You deserved feeling like home was safe.

And if you didn’t feel safe, it’s ok to not be ok with it.

It’s ok to feel jealous of those whose moms loved them.

It’s ok to get triggered by Happy Mother’s Day messages.

It’s ok to feel like you need to be a model mom because you didn’t have one.

It’s ok to crumble under that pressure.

If you had a toxic or a narcissistic mother

it’s ok to have a


May it also be the day we pledge to heal and stop the generational trauma.

Big hug.

Image source: a still from the film Dear Zindagi

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About the Author

Ashwini S Menon

Like any other writer, I am always on the lookout for those golden words that can touch people's hearts. But more often than not, I just write so that my soul can speak. Either read more...

14 Posts | 38,804 Views

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