Super Woman Is Exhausted: Enough With Perfection!

Where does this pressure to be a “Super Woman” stem from? There’s just too much pressure on the modern day woman to have it all!

There’s just too much pressure on the modern day woman to “nurture a happy family” and “cook nutritious meals” and “manage a career” — all while “always looking happy and well turned”. Where does this pressure to be a “Super Woman” stem from?

The society does its bit to add to this pressure — advertisements, movies, television shows, promoting a certain type of “ideal woman”. Haven’t we all heard that “women are natural multitaskers”, that “women are natural nurturers”?

When we see happy Instagram pictures and messages, it does seem like some people are leading the “perfect lives”. But the grass always looks greener on the other side, and we simply do not know the full story of anyone.

A little pressure is okay, maybe

Maybe, just maybe, a bit of pressure helps us all to push ourselves to do better, there seems to be this unrealistic pursuit of “perfection” — the need to have it all — family, hobbies, career, social life, holidays and exercise routine.

A perfectly balanced life where you will have the perfect answers to all of life’s vagaries.

In reality, though, none of us has superpowers. No one can claim to have the “perfect life”.

It is okay, to not have a perfect life

It’s okay to lose temper, and it’s okay to later feel guilty about it — you lost your cool in a moment of vulnerability. Instead of setting an impossible goal to never get angry, embrace your moods. Connecting to your inner self will bring about a calm that you didn’t know could be achieved.

It’s okay to be an average cook or an average office goer making an average salary. It’s okay if you cannot make intelligent conversations with people at a party.

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Furthermore, it’s okay if you have very few friends. It’s okay to be bad at multitasking — it is humanly impossible to give your 100% to every chore on your daily list. It’s okay to prioritize family over work one day and work over family some other day.

An average home-maker never rests!

The average home-maker is on her feet the whole day — looking into children’s homework, cooking for everyone. Yet, will feel super guilty and embarrassed to take afternoon naps or to order an occasional take-out. After all, the “perfect home-maker” with super human powers needs neither naps nor take-outs, right?

Working women, while bringing in money and taking care of the majority of household work, still feel guilty of not doing enough for her family. But isn’t she the “natural multitasker”?

And then there are the part-time working women, who were silly enough to believe they had it all figured. They fell into the “super woman” trap of their own will. Now, people at work think she doesn’t do enough at work. And people at home think her work is just her “hobby”.

Appreciate the impermanence

Women can probably help themselves by living life as per the Japanese concept of “Wabi Sabi

Wabi Sabi” is appreciating the beauty in “imperfections” and “impermanence”. Nothing in this world is perfect or permanent. We can simply try to be the best that we can be, in the time given to us.

By doing so, we learn and we grow. We don’t mock an ant for trying to move something heavy.

Instead, we admire its resilience, don’t we? There is beauty in being yourself — there is beauty in imperfection.

Image source: Antonio Diaz, via Getty Images, free and edited on CanvaPro

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About the Author

Anupama

I am a Japanese language trainer with over 10 years of experience in teaching and mentoring students. I have lived in Japan for many years and enjoy sharing insights from my experience in the areas read more...

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