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A relationship, especially a marriage, is as much about what we make it, as it is about things beyond our control. The author muses on how they have handled it.
It’s our 16th wedding anniversary and I am in my early 40s.
I dug out a few of our old photographs from my hard disk; created an album along with the newlywed one to few recent ones and put it on social media.
On seeing this one of our friends asked, “How do you guys see your conjugal journey so far or where do you stand now in this 16 -year –long marital journey?”
I had never given a thought on this actually nor was I ready for this sudden, thought provoking question posed to me. I paused. I reflected, and found out it interesting indeed, and a whole lot more things started filling my mind.
I replied to him, “Oh! We together evolved as children… as parents, and there are a lot more changes both intentional and unintentional.”
Really a lot more things! Lot more changes! It’s time to grow up!
What have I become actually? When did I grow to different than before? Why did I become more responsible or act responsibly? I always do my share and pull my weight, even if no one asked me to.
Now, we have a better understanding of who we are and what we want, making it easier for us to focus on our priorities whether it’s a relationship, our parents, our children, or ourselves.
I think communication is everything when it comes to being a good parent, from navigating those disputes with spouse in an effective manner to trying to help our child figure out the world around him.
As I get older and more mature, it becomes easier to communicate my needs, wants and boundaries. With age comes increased confidence and a increased ability to get my point across, no matter how unpopular or straightforward it might be.
I am perhaps a lot more aware and secure in myself than I thought I’d be at this age. I’m calmer yet alert; patient yet straight forward; relearning yet unlearning.
Now I understand that the little things are the big things sometimes, and the little things may become big things because they have meaning.
Eventually I concluded that it was better to end my relationships with some of the toxic people in the family, and put strict boundaries without guilt and fear. We learned to move on – even if they’re family. And simultaneously learning how to gracefully let others exit our life is also worthwhile.
Maybe we’ve seen a lot more of life (may not be all), and have more wisdom to impart to our child in a low yet firm voice and allow him to flourish and bloom with dignity in his own space, and with his own pace.
During this journey, we do believe strongly in learning as much we can from our experiences and that shouldn’t stop for us. We have learned to enjoy the challenges of growing and evolving over the years, and to remind us forever that age is just a number. It keeps life meaningful, colourful and worthwhile.
I think this is what we have become over our 16 years long marital life.
Image source: a still from the series Aani Kay Hawa
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I am an educator, Soft-Skill Trainer & a mother. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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What I loved was how there is so much in the movie of the SRK we have known, and also a totally new star. The gestures, the smile, the wit and the charisma are all too familiar, but you also witness a rawness, an edginess.
When a movie that got the entire nation in a twist – for the right and wrong reasons – hits the theatres, there is bound to be noise. From ‘I am going to watch it – first day first show’ to ‘Boycott the movie and make it a flop’, social media has been a furore of posts.
Let me get one thing straight here – I did not watch Pathaan to make a statement or to simply rebel as people would put it. I went to watch it for the sheer pleasure of witnessing my favourite superstar in all his glory being what he is best at being – his magnificent self. Because when it comes to screen presence, he burns it, melts it and then resurrects it as well like no other. Because when it comes to style and passion, he owns it like a boss. Because SRK is, in a way, my last connecting point to the girl that I once was. Though I have evolved into so many more things over the years, I don’t think I am ready to let go of that girl fully yet.
There is no elephant in the room really here because it’s a fact that Bollywood has a lot of cleaning up to do. Calling out on all the problematic aspects of the industry is important and in doing that, maintaining objectivity is also equally imperative. I went for Pathaan for entertainment and got more than I had hoped for. It is a clever, slick, witty, brilliantly packaged action movie that delivers what it promises to. Logic definitely goes flying out of the window at times and some scenes will make you go ‘kuch bhi’ , but the screenplay clearly reminds you that you knew all along what you were in for. The action sequences are lavish and someone like me who is not exactly a fan of this genre was also mind blown.
Recent footage of her coming out of an airport had comments preaching karma and its cruel ways, that Samantha "deserved her illness" because she filed for divorce.
Samantha Ruth Prabhu fell from being the public’s sweetheart to a villain overnight because she filed for divorce. The actress was struck with myositis post divorce, much to the joy of certain groups (read sexist) in our society.
A troll responded to Samantha’s tweet, “Women Rising!!” by adding to it “just to fall”. She replied, “Getting back up makes it all the more sweeter, my friend.”
Here’s another insensitive tweet by BuzZ Basket showing fake concern for her autoimmune disease. “Feeling sad for Samantha, she lost all her charm and glow. When everyone thought she came out of divorce strongly and her professional life was seeing heights, myositis hit her badly, making her weak again.” Samantha responded, “I pray you never have to go through months of treatment and medication like I did. And here’s some love from me to add to your glow.”
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